The trip took too long, and no matter how much she paid the driver they wouldn’t go faster. Couldn’t, they said, or they’d damage their ship. But every minute between Kiast and Arx felt like forever. It had to be a hoax, had to be someone wearing his face. It couldn’t be him. He wouldn’t… let her think he was dead, right?
But no matter how much she breathed or told herself this was all a joke, the anger wouldn’t stop growing. It burned in her chest, her throat, her eyes. Pure anger. She had trusted him not to pull this kist on her. Trusted him to tell her the truth, eventually.
She didn’t even wait for the ship to fully settle on the landing pad before she launched out the hard dock. Her heels tapped on the pavement hard as she pushed her way into the building, finding her way to the Voice’s office. Someone somewhere asked her if she had an appointment. She gave them a vulgar gesture as her only reply.
The closer she got, the more she could feel him. The chunk of the force carved out for just him. Smelling like something earthy and welcoming and expensive. Tears seared at her insides, her vision blurring. She thought she would never smell that scent again.
Nildea pushed the door to Masahiro’s office open hard and forcefully, causing it to slam into the doorframe. A blonde human stood across the desk from Masahiro, her mouth still partly open as she was mid-sentence when the Sephi orator had barged into what was clearly some kind of meeting or debriefing. One of the human woman’s eyebrows quirked up and it took everything in Nildea to not sling one of the nearby chairs at her face.
Nildea’s expression turned into something furious, feral, as her eyes finally settled on Masahiro. It was indeed him. He was alive, and she should have been happy if it weren’t for the fact that she was so godsdamned angry. Angry that he hadn’t reached out. Angry he had the balls to seemed surprised, as if she wouldn’t have figured it out.
“Out. Now.” She commanded to the human who let out a sharp snort of amusement, gathered her dataslate with a smirk, and walked out without argument. At least someone in this room had sense.
Once the human had closed the door behind her, Nildea grabbed something nearby with the force and chucked it as hard as she could at her former Consul. Former friend. Former lover. She hoped it hurt when it hit him, hoped it broke his perfect fracking cheekbones.
“YOU ASSHOLE.” She choked out, the tears threatening to swallow her whole, “Faking your death?! Really?!”
-# <@236356564125089792>
As the door opened, Masahiro first wondered if Reiden had finally snapped under the weight of Kamjin’s incessant requests for game nights (in which the Voice sent his magistrate in his stead) and was quickly greeted with a familiar presence in the Force, followed by a too-well-known temper.
“Celeste, we’ll conclude this business later.” He said as his Praetor was already gathering her supplies to leave.
Before the Orator could even gather the objects in his office to throw at him, Masahiro lifted his fingers from his desk, calmly collecting his furniture a few feet ahead of his desk and with a practiced motion guiding them to their secondary homes.
Celeste had just as much of a temper after being locked up whenever she smelt Idris’ beskar approaching his office.
“Has Mihoshi apprehended my would be assassin yet?” The Sephi-Arkanian asked, his other hand motioning to one of the few unmolested chairs near his desk.
“The attempt on my life was legitimate. Mihoshi decided after I collapsed to frame it as successful, to flush out the assassins.” He continued, shaking his head.
“Okay? And? Was what we were not enough for you to at least send me a five word holomessage?” It felt like she was choking, drowning. It had felt like she had been drowning since the day she found out.
“Was I not important enough to let know that you were actually okay? We held a funeral. I spoke your gods damned eulogy! There’s a grave with your name on it! Was torturing me part of the plan? Torturing the people who swore themselves to you?”
A bitter laughter started in her chest, bubbling it’s way up like bad gas.
“Do you know how much this messed all of us up? Sonyo is detained! She went on a karking killing spree!” She might have meant little to him, but she was hoping she could reach out to him regarding the only woman he seemed to care about as of late. That stupid, gorgeous Pantoran hybrid who had become the new light at his side. Who had replaced her.
Nildea’s jaw tightened and she looked away, a single tear rolling down her pale cheek.
“I mean, I know I mean very little to you now, but at least you could have saved her the sorrow. She’s been through enough.” The words were launched with venom, hoping to hurt him. She had drank so much that first night– more than she could remember drinking in recent memory. Until her emotions drowned and all that was left was clinging to her bed while the world spun.
Masahiro sighed.
Of course Nildea would break down on their first contact. The calm, collected, cynical woman who never showed outward interest in him unless it was physical would go on an emotional breakdown before he could explain the intricacies of what had happened, discounting the amount of times she had flown off the handle or hidden important matters from him. Still, he understood to a degree. Something in her outburst tripped him up.
He raised his hand, a practiced mannerism. Silverite eyes traced the air between the pair of them, searching for the words to calm her and try and get her to listen if just for a moment.
“Nildea? Is your holo still connected to the SeNet protocols through your vessel, or did you connect to the public network when you traveled into the system?” He questioned, pushing his own datapad forward on the table as he swiped to her contact information.
In truth he had attempted to contact a few members of the Temple and his personal friends through back channels after his failed assassination, but had received either immediate disconnects or failure to receive notifications.
He had suspected Mihoshi, Jon, or perhaps even Zakfein had blocked his personal communications back into the sector, but had not intended to contact through third parties for their safety in case.
Nildea sat in silence for a second, still not looking at Masahiro, before the wheels in her head started turning and her eyes narrowed. After a second longer, the Sephi Orator’s eyes would widen slightly as she caught on to what Masahiro was insinuating.
The anger drained from her, suddenly and violently, leaving her nauseated and exhausted. She finally turned to look at her friend, her jaw set.
“You think they’re blocking your comms…”
The Sephi shook her head and moved closer to her desk, making a gesture to the male on the other side to hand her his dataslate, new anger boiling inside of her.
“No. I left all my holodevices in my office on Kaal. I didnt want anyone spying. Something strange is happening on Kiast. Give me yours, let me look.”
Masahiro brushed the dataslate with the tips of his fingers, pushing it toward her with a bemused expression as her anger dissipated. The creases of his brow furrowed as he looked from it up to her and sighed.
“That would be my belief, yes. I have little reason to believe that you would intentionally block me, unless it was a matter of needing to maintain the illusion I was dead, and knowing I would, undoubtedly, bother you.”
The Jedi leaned hard into the backing of his chair and stretched, his patterned sash discarded as he returned his elbows back to the desk and crossed his fingers beneath his chin.
“I’d assume either Mihoshi or the Royal Spymaster. One to keep everyone safe, the other to make sure I’m unable to feed information from wherever I’m in hiding.”
-# <@264959101384130560>
Nildea waved her hand at Masahiro, a gesture akin to “hush” as she pulled up her contact info. She refused to look into his holomessages, refused to torture herself like that. Instead she simply tried to place a call through to herself.
It failed. Instantly.
She let out a soft sigh and her whole body deflated. Even her ears drooped slightly. So many complicated things were happening in Kiast… More than usual.
Nildea didn’t say anything, just stood there staring at the “Failed to connect” message. Looking a little like she was carrying some massive weight, like she was moments from breaking under it all.
How the hell was she supposed to fix all that was breaking in Odan-Urr? How the frak was she supposed to save her home if she was caught under webs upon webs of deception.
Masahiro nodded as he watched Nildeah attempt to reach out to a device in the Kiast system, the annoyance on her face plain as day. He sighed as her ears drooped and reached out to retrieve his dataslate from her with a gentle tug in the Force. Her reaction told him everything he needed to know. It wasn’t her, it was definitely SeNet under Mihoshi’s order, or the Vatali Central Intelligence under Zakfein’s command.
“My only recourse to call would have been through Arx-controlled devices, or to bother Turel for his devices, and honestly, he’s just as much of a renegade from the system as I am currently. I’d rather not paint a target on his larger than the one he painted himself,” Masahiro began, “even with the assets of The Brotherhood backing us.”
“Honestly, this whole thing is just more of a migraine than it is worth. How has the situation on the ground degraded since I was ‘assassinated’?”
“Slowly, quietly, in the shadows,” she responded softly, rubbing her face, “Something’s moving. Something bad. I feel it in the Force but I can’t see it yet. Mihoshi’s begun to withdraw inside herself, Syrena abandoned her position to go frakking touring with some alternative music band… Kaal is formally separating from the empire.”
She still couldn’t believe the last one. Her city, her city, under her watch, was becoming independent from Kaltani’s influence.
“I’m the Governor of Kaal now, though I refuse to take that title.” She grimaced as if the mere mention of her new title physically hurt, “No one else stepped up– so once again I had to take the job no one else wanted. I have yet to hear from my parents about it all, though I’m sure they’ll assault me with their opinions in time.”
The Sephi woman moved from Masahiro’s desk to one of the nearby chairs and uncerimoniously flopped into it, scattering the fabric of her Odanite robes about. Her crystalline blue eyes were cloudier now with exhaustion.
“Vesril’s starting his kist again. Nothing so bold as last time. I caught a wire tap in my room.”
The last time the eldest of her brothers had set her sites on her, she had ended in the hospital after a failed assassination attempt. She knew it was him but never told anyone, and quickly the case went cold. It was normal for Sephi families– the plotting and the planning. Sephi knew nothing more than to be cold and to ploy for power. Unluckily for him, she had caught wind of his plans prior to the poisoning of her favorite wine, and had been dosing herself with the antidote.
Not enough, as it still made her violently ill, but enough to save her.
“I wish you were there. I hate being left to these sharks alone…”
“A Mihoshi alone is a dangerous thing. Definitely keep an eye on her, keep someone close, someone friendly, someone trusted.” Masahiro mused as he took Nildea’s concerns to heart.
Kiast was only inching closer toward chaos in his absence. The moving forces within and without only moved to destabilize her further and the newly appointed Voice of the Brotherhood was unsure of how to even address this from his current post. The further concerns poured in; Syrena’s abdication, Nildea being left to govern Kaal… Oh, who would be left to keep the revolutionaries in check if the proud Orator was now the Governess!? The separation of Daleem from Imperial powers was a slow crawl, it had begun even before he left, machinations of the Houses, tired of the Empress’ micromanagement, but this? This was akin to how the Temple had begun to remove themselves to Solyiat. How Solyiat had begun to break free for its own means as there was little Imperial oversight on the surface—
“Vesril… Pompous little shit.” The half-Sephi broke off, his spiral broken as Nildea brought immediate concerns of her health and welfare to mind.
“One could always find solace with me here on Arx, instead of returning to Essadan.”
Silence filled the room for a moment after Masahiro’s last words. Then Nildea started laughing, softly at first, then louder, like Voice had just told the funniest story. When the Sephi woman finally caught her breath, she placed a hand on her chest.
“Oh, I forgot how funny you were.” Then she sighed, and her expression turned serious again. “You know that’s not an option, Masa. And you’d get tired of me in a week.”
Nildea took a second more to stare at the ceiling, giving herself a second to prepare herself for the trip back to Kiast. A second longer to give herself a selfish moment to drink in the calming energy that Masahiro seemed to surround himself in. A second longer to rest before going back to what felt like the storm before a tragedy. A second to amass walls along her memories of this conversation so they weren’t pried into without her knowledge. She’d bury them in darker memories, of nights where she slept with others to stop the screaming in her mind, or the deep rooted fear of a ruler against her knuckles.
Then she stood, smoothing out the folds in her robes created by flopping into his chair.
“I’ll send Sonyo soon. I don’t know what lies Mihoshi and the others will make to try to explain how you’re still alive, but I don’t want her caught in them.”
Masahiro’s outstretched hand dropped, the upturned palm laying flat on his desk as he visibly deflated. This was the way of Nildea, self deprecating, isolating, and concerning herself with others, rather than her own happiness. It wasn’t that Masahiro wasn’t aware of Sonyo’s feelings toward him, he had occasionally flitted with the idea and teased the overzealous young woman, but Nildea had always been his. His friend, partner in crime, and confidant, yet, once again, she would shut herself off and choose her misery instead.
“Very well then, Nilsa. If you’d tire of me so quickly and send your little Jedi in your stead, I’ll keep her company until you’ve chosen to return.” He said, his demeanor cool, though every fiber screamed to grab her and pull her into his chest.
“If Hoth needs assistance within my purview to provide, contact me through outside channels, Inquisitorious, or Arx backchannels instead of the Kiast networks. SeNet and the Vatali Central Intelligence are likely to be fighting for dominance still and spying on all interior networks.” Masahiro added, tapping on one of the reports on his desk, swiping from the Taldryan civil war to the reports out of Kiast.
She wouldn’t break. She wouldn’t show how much his sadness hurt her. It was better for him, in the end, even if he didn’t see it now. She set her jaw and looked at the floor, nodding as Masahiro gave her instructions. She let numbness seep into her brain, into her bones, into her though. It was the one thing she was always good at in the Jedi Academy.
She would not let the ghost of his lips dance on memory.
“I’ll reach out through encrypted channels, if need be. ”
She turned and began walking out, stopping only when she got to the door. Her heart screamed for her to turn around, to apologize– but she wouldn’t let Masahiro drag himself down by choosing her. Garbage, a wreck, broken. He deserved more. His mother had made it clear she would never approve of them, and she couldn’t bare to make things more difficult for her one and only close friend.
She turned one more time, her face profoundly sad as she looked at the Sephi man she grew up with. How much he had achieved, how far he had gone. Her voice was soft when she spoke, but did not waver.
“Don’t you miss it sometimes? When we were just children? When everything was easy and the future seemed so straightforward?”
She didn’t stop to let him answer, not really, allowing herself to pause only a moment before her composure and self restraint broke.
“May the Force be with you, Masa.”
And then she was gone, the door closing behind her.
“Every single day.” Was his solemn reply as the fast closing door echoed the end of this chapter of their life.