Night was falling, but the light didn’t flee along with the sun. The alpine forests of this unmarked backwater planet in the middle of nowhere were just sparse enough to allow sight of the sky through boughs of green and red, and that sky was bright due to the main distinguishing feature of this strange place. It was several thousand parsecs above the galactic plane, allowing the galaxy itself to be almost a second sun. It wasn’t bright enough to hurt one’s eyes, but it was certainly enough that life here was somehow affected by the constant influx of energy.
Remy was blind to this sight, however. She sat near a fire under the lifeless husk of a modified long-range Y-Wing Bomber, her eyes closed as she watched the world through the Force. She had taken note of something on this planet days ago, what felt like a place that was almost alive, almost beckoning her closer. There was also something… someone else. They had only arrived on the planet yesterday, and they were, by contrast, a massive pit of vile Darkness. Remy had been concerned that they were going to desecrate whatever hallowed ground was here, but the presence had quickly made it clear it was approaching them, Remy and her warden. She couldn’t decide which would be worse.
Remy wasn’t alone, of course, she was actually a “prisoner” of Pharn, a would-be Mandolorian she had defeated, no, humiliated in combat. The result of that battle was a blind jump into hyperspace where both of the two were unconscious for who knows how long. Luckily, Pharn had woken up quickly enough to guide the ship to a habitable planet on the last drops of fuel. Unfortunately, she had long since disarmed Remy herself and declared her captured. Remy could, of course, overturn that at any time, but it was easier this way. She was unlikely to do anything stupid or dangerous as long as she felt in control.
Pharn was a middling height tan skinned humanoid with short black hair and brown eyes, ultimately a rather plain looking, if tough, looking woman. She worse only the armored bodyglove she had under her lost beskar armor and a cloak she had “confiscated’ from Remy herself.
“You look more tense than usual, is it another of those giant mott looking things?”
The creature Pharn spoke of was a thirty to forty foot long animal with large horns that did indeed resemble a giant mott. They were apparently herbivores, albiet violent ones. They tasted edible enough.
“No,” Remy responded quietly, “It’s the other one. The Dark Sider. It’s getting close.”
Despite her bravado, Pharn looked worried.
“Should we… move? Set Traps?”
Remy shook her head slowly, “It came straight for us. It can sense us, and is powerful enough that traps would just strengthen its berserker spirit. Just stand ready.”
Days prior Kerissa Monique had been on Arx, recieving a research trip brief. Go to a place, get some samples, bring them back. Simple as could be.
Except it was never simple. Her ship had been delayed and upon landing on a supposedly empty planet there were two life forces a huge distance away that seemed to be static in placement.
Which either meant natives were here and somehow no one noticed, or some poor karkers had shipwrecked here.
Either way, Kerissa had told her transport to delay a bit and took samples on her way to the pair. Plants, rocks, minor scraps and clippings of most species she could identify were unique from each other with her eyes alone. The wildlife wasnt her problem this time, though when presented with a huge tuft of.. some kind of fur she did package a few grams as a extra.
It took longer to get to the two life sources, but today was the day. And today was when Kerissa realised one of those was familiar. Not closely so, it certainly wasnt anyone shed been on a mission with.
A mile of walking and mulling it over, the presence becoming easier to dissect along the way, Kerissa finally realised. It was uh-
Kark what was her name?
Swimming bath lady was disrespectful. Eh, whatever. It meant either way that she was approaching a friendly and not someone likely to shoot her on sight or something.
Her pace quickened, the galaxy above shifting more and more shadows across the landscape as the approximation of nighttime this world had fell. The Y-wing was the first thing she saw, then the fire and the figures. They’d emergency landed, clearly. Kark, how long had they been here?
Now she was closer, Kerissa could identify with certainty that the one sitting beside the fire was definitely the lady who was friends with the Zeltron lady. Ethel? No. Dammit.
She continued her approach, raising one hand and waving toward the familiar face.
It was her. they had only met once, and Remy was drunk at the time, but she didn’t meet many people so names were easy. She regretted not having the habit of Sensing everyone she could back then, maybe she would have realised how corrupted Kerissa was. She almost considered taking the chance of being far away from oversight to burn away this tick, but even though Remy had gotten much more powerful, she still wasn’t sure she could win.
She waved Pharn down, who scowled over her aimed blaster, but lowered it a few inches anyway. Turning back to the edge of the clearing, Remy called out.
“Karissa, yes? What are you doing here?”
Kist she remembered her name. This was awkward.
Though more to the weird reactions. Why was the poorly armored one pointing a gun at her? She continued approaching but reduced her pace before yelling back,
“Yeah Kerissa. Im here on a research collection job with the Collegium! What about you two? You’re way out.”
Remy paused for a moment, considering the danger of letting such a powerful witch know her vulnerability. In the end, however, they were going to have to ride back to the galaxy with Kerissa, and she would find out eventually.
“We… are shipwrecked. I was in a battle with the collective and had to make a blind jump while injured, and passed out from blood loss.”
She jerked her thumb back at Pharn, “She was with the Collective. We are mainly here trying to think of a way we can power the ship to set off a distress beacon or leave.”
Remy thought for a second, but refocused when she realised what the other said, “The Collegium sent you? Why? What do they want here?”
Kerissa’s eyes narrowed at the second person for a moment. Shed had little interaction with the Collective but, well. That was a problem for later evidently.
“This planet hasn’t had much studying done on it. Ive just been collecting field samples, nothing too crazy.” She shrugged, closing the distance enough they no longer needed to raise their voices to communicate.
“I have a transport swinging back for me tomorrow. We can give you transport back to Arx.” Gray eyes turned to the ‘mandolarion’. “Not sure about you. The name Collective does you no favors here.”
Remy moved between the two others and leveled her gaze at Kerissa, still blank as usual, but now carrying a hint of warning.
“I went through great efforts to keep this one alive. The Force provided the key. You have no right to destroy what the Force has protected. Besides,” she said, relaxing marginally, “I believe she is a mercenary, and lied about her credentials.”
Pharns face began reddening in anger, and she raised the blaster again, also igniting the saber she had taken from Remy.
“How dare-!”
Her words were cut short as the weapons flew out of her hands and into Remys.
“That’s enough of that.”
Pharn was speechless for a moment, impotent rage warring for despair on her face, but Remy turned back to speak to the interloper.
“I would… appreciate the help. But I do have something else I must do first, and if time is short than I must be off. Do not kill Pharn.”
“You let her take your lightsaber?” Kerissa had to commented with some confusion as the exchange occured. She then nodded,
“I wasn’t planning to kill her. The question was, if she was going to come with us, which…” She waved a hand nonchalantly, “If you need her then that’s that.”
“Am I going to be keeping watch?”
Remy looked over her shoulder at Pharn. The woman was working for those who would silence the Force entirely, and certainly had enough fighting skill that she couldn’t have simply trained for it. She was a warrior, if one who had relics far beyond her station. And now she had been humiliated again and again, her mandolorian code broken, lost on a planet far away from help surrounded by enemies.
I believe thoughts appeared in Kerissas mind unbidden, she is much more a danger to herself than we are, now
“It is not so much that I need her… but I do not think she deserves death. At least, not more than so many others I have let live. Besides, I don’t believe she cares too much about the Collective itself, she seems more of a mercenary.”
“I. Am. Right. Here. You know. And don’t think I will continue to take these insults lying down, I will defend my pride if I have to…”
She seemed less certain of herself than ever, but she did seem ready to attack.
Kerissa looked at Pharn,
“Okay then. What is your connection to the Collective? And are you going to remain peaceful with me if our lovely lady here leaves?” She placed a hand on her hip.
Pharns face was calming, although it still retained its scowl, “I fought for them. My job was to counter the invading force on our main ship. Obviously, I failed. Also lost a full suit of armor and beskad, all beskar. It’s fair to say that the Collective is just as likely to kill me as you are.”
Remy turned and waved a hand at Pharn, “it would behoove you to hold to that, you stand less of a chance against her than you do against me.”
She turned to the north, where she felt that huge presence. How did Kerissa not feel that? Even as a Dark side puppet that signal should be overwhelming…
“I will return to wherever I sense you. I will likely be several hours.”
“I really didn’t come here to kill anyone, nor do I make a habit of that.” Kerissa grumbled, but relented to walking over to finally properly join the duo.
“Alright. I’m sure we’ll be fine, I’ve got some extra supplies either way.”
Remy nodded, content that Kerissa did not seem to be intending to follow, and turned back in the direction she felt that presence. It was miles away, many and more. She might get there by morning if she used the Force as much as possible, as much as she did on missions… in all honesty she was still on a mission, just one with a vastly extended deadline.
With a surge of power, Remy blurred away into the forest, her body buzzing with power. Her limbs moved so fast that dirt sprayed and wood cracked on the occasion she lept from tree to tree. Her eyes pierced the darkness, and saw over a mile out in front of her, when the trees permitted. Even her mind was filled, watching the future and guiding her to the lines and arcs that carried her over trips, under branches, and away from unstable footing. As she went, she even felt herself moving faster as she adjusted, her usual battle flow taking hold and pushing her on, eating mile after mile.
Something changed. She felt her mind retreat, the world melt away like it had so many times before. Her speed increased even further and the feeling of that place far ahead was the only thing she could see… until she fell into a painful roll that ended with a face full of stone. She wasn’t injured, at least not badly enough that her meager ability in Healing couldn’t fix, but she could barely move due to exhaustion.
What was that? It felt like she had before, when she used… the Dark side. Memories of entire rooms painted red, her teeth gritted, her motions hard to restrain flashed through her mind. This felt mostly the same, the power, the focus, but… there was no enemy, and she didn’t feel like she was on a dozen stimulants at once. It more felt like the world itself had grown weaker, slower, and less important. If anything, she had calmed during that, getting lost in the repetitive motions of running and jumping.
She pulled her scanner from her bag and checked her time and location. It had been almost three minutes, and she had gone five miles. Not much compared to a landspeeder, but… she would allow this to count as a victory. She wouldn’t manage that speed again, likely, but with periodic resting, she might actually be able to make that ship ride home.
It was a while after Remalia left that Kerissa finally took note of the presence on this planet.
It was powerful, though distant. As if it was trying to disguise itself from her. It raised Kerissa’s curiosity though, considering Remalia went off in its direction, she opted to wait before writing down the sensation in the note book.
Which left Pharn as the residing Thing Going On.
Awkward.
Kerissa made a point of helping with sorting things out, laying out her own supplies to add to the pile the duo had collected in their days of survival, and overall just finding stuff to do. That wasnt being glared at by some random chick.
Thirty minutes off, three minutes on. Remy was correct is assuming she wouldn’t reach the earlier top speed again, but she was still making good time. Her arms and face were bleeding, her hair had lost its shape, her robes were soaked through with sweat, but she was getting where she was going, sure enough. It was almost exactly midnight when she found what she was looking for.
She had climbed a mountain, at some point. There was a few inches of snow, the trees were sparse, and she could see the thin line of smoke on the horizon that marked her crashed ship. It was truly strange to be able to see in the dark so well. Turning from the vista, however, she peered down into the cave entrance she had found. To be honest it was more just a crack in the mountainside, completely inconspicuous aside from the immense waves in the Force that seemed to be emanating from inside.
“I’m here. You got me, now what do you want?”
The fall was short
Pharn took note of the purple ones busywork. She couldn’t identify exactly the dynamic between the two… Brothers? But it was obvious this one was at the very least uncomfortable with a Collectivist. If that was even an acceptable title for her now. She had really bundled her first job for them, and lost her fortune of a payment as well. No friends and many, many enemies.
“Hey, I know resorting your rations for the third time is real interesting,” she said as she began climbing the burnt handholds in the tree that supported their crashed ship, “but there’s plenty of light salvage to be carried away here if you’re willing to help. Custom Collective ship mods!~”
Probably best to at least seem friendly… even if she was really bad at it.
“Oh.”
It wasn’t a bad call. Kerissa nodded, carefully putting away the rations and jogging over to the ship. “Sure. I was about to starting comparing calorie counts of kist.”
Even for her that was a silly level of attention to detail.
“I can probably float them down so we don’t have to, y'know, ladder carry kist. Not my forte.”
“What’s that?” Came a voice from the bomber as a metal sphere a foot across thudded into the ground beside Kerissa.
“Oh, don’t worry about the whole bomb, it’s the miniturised droid brains inside we want to pull out.”
The next several hours involved Pharn ripping important chunks out of the modded bomber and passing them down to Kerissa, who caught and gently placed them down, now that she was prepared. Pharn went all night pulling apart the big pieces for small chips and pumps she declared as valuable, but her true intent was to cover her oscillating frustration, humiliation, and despair, which only worked half the time. It felt like weeks before the star rose in the sky, finally pushing the galaxy out of view.
Kerissa, unforunately for Pharn, tapped often into her senses through the Force.
But, fortunately, she took no pleasure in needlessly harming others. She ignored the negative feelings and focussed on trying to at least make their interactions with each other neutral enough until night fell.
“Do you want first or second watch?” Kerissa asked, looking over the shadowed landscape. It wasn’t too dangerous here but… still.
“I won’t be sleeping,” the warrior replied, her bodyglove looking ironically like pajamas in the gentle galaxy-light, “though I suppose I’m unarmed, so i don’t know how much of a guard I can be.”
Pharn didn’t look up from the hunk of metals and polymers she was disassembling, finally pulling out a bundle of wires with a tube on one end.
“When’s your ship arriving? I imagine somewhere midday?”
“Midday to afternoon. In the morning they’ll be getting into orbit and then having to come down into the atmosphere so I imagine they’ll want to do that when the sun is at a less blinding angle.” Kerissa hummed, picking up wedge of electronics with a small motherboard exposed, yet still trapped within.
“If you’re not sleeping I’m not sleeping. No offence, I imagine it’s the same reason you have.” She shrugged one shoulder, leaning back against a tree. “I’ve had folks try to kill me in my sleep a few too many times to pass out around someone who might actually want to.”
Pharn tried to give a disarming smile for less than a second, coming off more as a twitch. She went back to work, now basically doing what she had poked fun at Kerissa for doing hours before, organizing and reoganizing the bits she had already pried out.
“Well, I mean, if I killed you, then I would have to kill… the other one, and then the pilot of your ship and any passengers to cover my tracks…” she stopped as it started sounding more like a to-do list, “but… I don’t know what you plan to do with me after we leave… any Brotherhood you passed me on to would likely just kill me anyway. Unless you two are just being the ‘due process execution’ types. I’ve heard Jedi are like that.”
“Oh im no Jedi.” Kerissa said plainly, continuing to fiddle with her piece of tech. Screw by screw…
“ If we don’t tell them where you came from you’ll be fine. If the other one wants you free then… i don’t really care. Usually, people from the collective are frothing at the mouth to try and kill us. If that had been in the case, I’d have had more stakes in this, but…” Kerissa gestured towards her and then shrugged.
Pharn worked silently for a moment, bundling up more bits in spare wiring.
“I’m just a Man- mercenary. I wasn’t really with the Collective, as weasley as that sounds. They paid a lot for me. I don’t know if that says more about me or… her.”
She sat back a moment, her packs once again wrapped up.
“Speaking of… she was… well, I don’t want to say scared, I don’t know if she fears anything, but… anxious about you? She kept saying that there was "something dark” approaching, and when you showed up she looked ready to pounce. You two have a history or something?“
“Depends if it was a contract or a bounty.” Kerissa stated with a shrug. “You either accepted a high bounty or they thought you deserved the money for doing a job for them.”
That was the easier question to answer. They didn’t really have a history. It explained why Remalia didn’t recognise her, Kerissa struggled too until she got closer, but….
“No.” The Kessur-Ryn eventually started, tapping the multi-tool against the casing she held. “We’ve met once before, but it went fine. She took a water fight too seriously but, she escalated that not me. She either secretly hated my guts, or, she didn’t recognise my aura until she saw me.”
A small chuckle.
“Probably the latter. So, she didn’t know who I was and just sensed… Well. Something dark.”
Pharns side-eye was almost physical in its intensity, “Something dark, huh? Well I guess that makes more sense with your chosen bedfellows than someone pretending to be Jedi.”
Looking up to the tree canopy where the rays began to peak through the cracks, she stood and stretched, feeling at least a little less like she was on the verge of violent death.
“So, are they planning on landing here? This doesn’t look like the best place to land a ship, I’d imagine you would have a predetermined place for that, no? Do we need to pack up and start walking?”
“They’re not all sith. Not all Jedi. Not all force users. It’s a chaotic little cluster of people. It’s fun, nice even at times.” Kerissa shifted how she was sat, stretching a leg out in front of her.
“They’ll land nearby. They know where I am and they’ll send me coordinates when they have more accurate ones so,” She shrugged, “We can work it out in the morning. I told them to come in the morning. You might wanna ditch any collective insignias you have though. As I said, I don’t have much issue with it, but for a lot of folks who’ve had loved ones killed by the Collective, it’s a big target on your back.”
“Fun?” Pharn raises an eyebrow as she sets aside her packed things. “Your with one of the biggest, broadest, most dangerous and feared groups in the galaxy, at least to those who even have the ability to know about it, and you say it’s fun? I can’t say much about the Collective, but they certainly don’t have time for anything aside from their single minded goals. If the Brotherhood is ‘chaotic and fun’ as you say, then imagine how fast you could topple your enemies if you took it as seriously as they do. Maybe stop having all those civil wars I hear you have, or is that just propaganda?”
She raises a hand to forestall any questions, “and before you ask, no it’s not ‘can’t say’ because I have some loyalty to them, it’s because I was just a freelance heavy hitter. Or at least I was supposed to be. They saw ‘Mandolorian’ and disregarded that my best moments are in the cockpit. Anyway, I wouldn’t worry about any symbols, that was all painted on my armor, which is now floating somewhere just out of orbit of Karkaris in a new asteroid field made of Collective wreckage.”
Kerissa snorted, leaning back against a rock.
“We haven’t had any since I’ve been around. I’m not old, admittedly, but it’s been nearing a decade since the last one. We’ve been dealing with a lovely enemy the Collective somehow didn’t even notice forming. They’re stomped down, for now. Of course, as soon as the new enemy is forced to back away, the Collective decides to rear its head again. We aren’t good people, not entirely. Nor entirely fun. But its the safest I’ve been my entire life. Call me selfish but, I’ll take that over most anything else.”
A smile crossed her face, “You tell folks you’re a pilot and you won’t have to worry about jobs for a looong time. Kark, I’m awful at flying. There’s a reason I’m being picked up. Don’t be some sleeper cell agent and.. Well, I can get over… that.” Kerissa gestured at the wreckage they were bordered by.
Pharn waves her hand dismissively as she sits back, “You should have seen all the armor your… friend? Tore off of me. Nearly a hundred pounds of pure beskar as payment for being the Collectives attack hound. They will not want me back, no matter what little tidbits I could provide that they don’t already know. And I can’t exactly go home…”
Her face settles on sadness for a few moments, thoughts of this “home,” but it only lasted a moment.
“Eh, I’m sure you have to pass by some agri world or other, right? I can take up freight or something. Not glamorous or glorious, but theres not much point in combat piloting anymore, even if I could get back in the saddle.”
Kerissa shrugged, “Yea probably. Thousands of worlds out there, theres a place for everyone. Ive been on the run before, not worth it if you can avoid it.”
She exhaled, looking up toward the stars.
“Its never over until you let it be.”
Pharn chuckles humorlessly, expression halfway between smirk and sneer, and bitterness obvious in her tone.
“Easy for the wielder of the cosmic power of the universe to say. Us normal people tend to have limits to what we can come back from, at least if we don’t fancy the whole ‘blaze of glory’ thing.”
The star finally begins cresting the trees, making the tops of the eastern trees light up in deep red as the forest begins to come more alive with the calls of unknown creatures. Far in the distance, but not as far as it should be, Remys signal reappears, weak and flickering. Srangely, it seems to be accompanied by another presence, even smaller and weaker than her own.
Kerissa shrugged. “We have limits too, but I’ll concede the point.”
She looked into the distance, where the strange new presence appeared beside Remy’s exhausted one. Peculiar. But not something to investigate tonight.
“Still, being on the run sucks ass. Using the Force just makes it so you have to leave faster cause you will get caught and I dont have the perk of crowd blending either.” She laughed lightly, “Yknow how hard it is to find a helmet when you have montrals? Bloody hard.”
Pharn frowns for moment, then shrugs, conceding the point.
“Well, sucking ass doesn’t really matter when it’s that or… interrogation cells.”
She begins slow stretches, obviously part of some morning routine.
“I’ve never really been around too many… I don’t know, non-standard species would you call it? With horns or lekku or whatever. At least as far as I’ve known, it’s been humans or close enough not to make a difference.”
“Yeah, makes sense. And I’m an extra level of unique.” Kerissa offered a mischievous wink.
“Remalia seems set on keeping you alive, so, I wouldn’t worry too much. She seems to be the type to get what she wants. I do hope she’s back by the time the ship gets here. Be kinda awkward if we have to go looking for her, though I do know kinda whereabouts she is at least.”
Pharn stood to do some of her more active exercises, pausing before jogging off.
“Well, let me know if we’re moving out. I don’t exactly want to be left here either.”
The hours crawl by slowly as Pharn does militaristic looking PT and the two presences come closer much slower than Remy had left before. At least they seemed to be approaching consistently now. Finally, the odd jedi limped out of the treeline, alone and looking much worse for wear.
Her robes were torn, bloodstained, and scattered with mud, although she didn’t seem to have any real injuries. Her hair, for the first time, was handling loose, and a strange black cloud of smoke or mist emanated from the tips making it look almost like the hair itself was dissolving into darkness. Her face showed only exhaustion, but that could be expected from the distance she had apparently traveled.
Most interestingly is that she was alone as she slowly moved across the clearing, despite the other presence that could be felt here.
“Kerissa… I assume the shuttle is not here yet…”
Kerissa had napped for some of the hours that passed.
Shed been puttering around, doing little of importance when Remalia limped back into their clearing. She raised an eyebrow. Remy was alone… yet wasnt.
“Not yet.” She glanced up, noting the time of day. “Few hours at most. What… do you have?”
She winced, but seemed unsurprised. She raised her fist and concentrated, even this small expenditure of Force taxing on her as she was.
As she unfurled her fingers, revealing a smooth, green crystal the size of her thumb, it’s presence in the Force now much stronger. It felt like… evil. Like a roiling flame of hatred and violence, yet bound with a tight whipcord of peace that held it solid and stable. It was similar to Remys own aura, which seemed almost like a caged beast, only… the crystal seemed less perilous. Calmer, despite the passion in it.
“I… found this. I guess it was calling to me. Might be why I jumped here, despite jumping at random and the sheer likelihood of simply flying into intergalactic space forever…”
Remy went quiet then, her face uncharacteristically emotive, giving the crystal a grim look.
Kerissa looked at it. If it bothered her, it was hard to tell.
“I assume you know what it is.” She spoke calmly, shifting to stand up but making no approach. “And how unusual this situation is. I’d be careful, especially if it called you from so far away.”
She hooked her thumbs into her pockets, worried though non judgemental. Remalia was an odd situation, and this crystal was no less peculiar.
Remy stayed silent for a moment, the aura of the crystal shrinking back to its barely identifiable shape as she stared. Then, she clenched it back into a fist and breathed through her nose deeply.
“What… why did the Academy send you? Why are they poking around a world so inconvenient and out of the way?”
“Because being so inconveniently out of the way, it’s under researched. I’m doing a surface layer survey, nothing too fancy but it pays well for the distance I have to travel and doesn’t get me shot at.” Kerissa explained lightly, shrugging.
“I’m not writing anything down.”
Remy considered her options again. Her first thought was on going for the kill and stealing the ship, but… that was emotional, wasn’t it? And in second thought, it wouldn’t work. The Academy sent her here in the first place, so they would send another.
And truthfully, Remy didn’t really want to kill this one either, even if she was a friend of the Dark.
“Kerissa…” she had to say something, to trust. Trust in emotional appeal.
“There is a whole kyber vein here. A huge one. If the Academy had a hint of one, they would send a ‘surface surveyor.’ Then, when they had conformation, they would crack the planet, strip it bare, then wound and bleed the crystals to make countless more red blades of death.”
It felt like betrayal. Like somehow she had promised to keep the caves a secret. It felt like the crystals were staring at her.
Kerissa considered the information. Her own survey had brought up little of interest, but she’d have found the vein eventually. Or the next ship would.
Her tail flicked, the golden bow dancing at the agitated movement.
“I surveyed this area and found nothing. So long as they dont send anyone stronger in the Force than me, any other surveys would occur far enough away to allow to go undetected.” She glanced in the direction she’d felt Remy’s signal through the prior night. “Though, what do you plan to do with it Remalia?”
That was probably as good as she was liable to get. From here she would just have to trust the Force…
“What?” Remy was tired. She couldn’t think properly, and looked up finally.
“It’s… it’s not mine to do anything with. I imagine it will draw others it deems… worthy, I suppose.”
Kerissa considered Remalia for a moment. Then nodded once. “Very well.”
“You should sit down, the ship will be here in a few hours. I made some food, ill get it for you.” Kerissa walked to where she’d done such preparations, the food still at least warm as she pulled out another bowl to serve it in.
Remy sits on a discarded piece of ship for a moment, her normal blank face slowly returning. Finally noting her hair, she begins twisting it back into a bun so the strange black smoke wouldn’t be visible anymore. By the time she was finished with the familiar movements she was handed a bowl of simple stew, seemingly composed of rations mixed with some fresh ingredients for flavor. Even without that, Remy was accustomed to nutrient paste, so it was easy to scoop back. It was less than a minute before she was done and held the bowl back out.
“Another, if you would. I will likely need four to six bowls, if you have enough available.”
Kerissa laughed, opting to bring the pot over instead. She found a flat spot to place it down on, and made sure the spoon she’d used was securely propped up.
“That’s all that’s left. Portion it out by bowl, I doubt there’s more than three bowls worth in there but do it one at a time so it doesn’t get cold while you eat, it yeah?”
Remy nodded and set to the work of eating, mind focused inward on where she had been, and where she was going. Ultimately, this place had changed nothing. She needed to get back to Daleem and get back to training… or did she? The crystals, this place… It was trying to teach her something. This crystal was a part of that, but that vision wasn’t internalized yet, obviously.
“Where are you headed after this? Do you have plans? A place you need to be?”
Kerissa shrugged, “I need to hand my notes back to the Academy. After that, back to Selen. Nash has a concert the week after next so I was going to hit that up. Some training, planning but nothing imminently urgent. What about you? You got folks to get back to, I know that much.”
Or, well, folk. Esen and her had seemed close enough.
“Esen… she has been having less need of me recently. I’ve been gone for years before, when she served on Selen. I…”
Remy had buisiness… somewhere. The cave had told her, tried to teach her, but it wanted her to do something. A test, maybe, or a quest of introspection, like so many Jedi seemed to do, in the old records.
“I think I have somewhere to go. When we get back to the galactic plane, I would appreciate it if you let us off somewhere in the deep core. Somewhere with a shipyard.”
She would need something the Brotherhood couldn’t track. Kerissa didn’t seem like she was going to reveal this place, but if one suspicious message got to one nosey beurocrat, Remy could accidentally lead them right to the place if she wasn’t careful.
“I shouldn’t be missed. I have never been the type to make many social connections. I will return when I have done what I need to.”
Kerissa raised an eyebrow “…I think youd be surprised by that. Its not hard to leave a message.”
She shrugged, shouldering her pack.
“I can drop you off wherever. We’ll be going through there so, the pilot won’t mind.”
It took a while, but Remy finally finished up her pot. As she dropped the bowl and spoon inside to prepare to wash, even over this, a small war waged inside her. At its base, a small thought emerged. An opinion, a consideration of the meal in flavor, in nutrition, in how filling it was. Her first instinct was to flatten that thought. It was unimportant, she had food, it was time to move on. But now… she was supposed to be different. The cave had tried to teach her that this was a foolish, dangrous way to live. It was almost painful, forcing her mind open, to allow an opinion out. She had been sitting motionless for a good ten seconds, when-
“Well made, for something made out of rations and local flora. I am impressed with your ability to work with limited resources.”
It felt unnatural. Like someone else was speaking, using her as a vessel. Could this really be what was supposed to be?
Kerissa had begun to wonder if she’d done something wrong when Remy sat frozen, akin to either a statue or a bird preparing to strike a prey. It was difficult to determine which and she felt a short jolt of surprise when Remalia simply began to speak. Maybe paused like a holovid wouldve been the better descriptor, though wjth the woman now unpaused-
She smiled.
“Thank you. I tried, glad it didnt turn out ass.” Kerissa chuckled, “I get mixed reviews.”
Remy did her best to clean up. It seemed Kerissa was expecting her ship to arrive soon.
“Have you ever had to… change your worldview before?”
It sounded like she was threatening to choke on the words.
“Like you either had to forget everything you’d ever known, or die for what you believe? Would you count being able to go back on every value as a strength, or a weakness?”
Kerissa was quiet for a few moments. Her expression dimmed, exhaling slowly through her nose.
“Its a strength. Or kark I hope it is. I have been at it for a while now and its still hard sometimes, to let some of those ideas go. The way I was taught to handle life. To change yourself, its difficult. Unlearning and learning anew, not everyone can do it. I don’t think that can be a weakness.”
Kerissa rubbed the back of her neck, “I thought being a Sith, the title of Darth, was a good thing. A life goal everyone reached for, the true power of the galaxy. If that gives you any idea on how much kist I’ve had to work through.”
Remy studied the ground. It seemed like it was about time to head out. The last time Remy might see anyone back on Daleem or Selen ever, if this went badly.
“But surely, those who can’t hold to their beliefs are not strong as well. At what point do malleable ideals simply become weak? How can one be devout and flexible at once?”
“If they aren’t your beliefs anymore, there’s no weakness to not meeting them. If anything it’s weak to stay miserable obeying beliefs you no longer believe in, or being able to step in and out of beliefs like walking between stores.” Kerissa shook her head.
“Let me ask you this. Has it been easy, to change? To even consider walking away from your views in the first place to now.”
In response, she nodded slowly, letting the quiet sit for a moment.
“Yes. Far too easy. If I were to meet myself from a year ago, she would call me lax, corrupted, forming attachments that make me weaker and more vulnerable. And I do feel weaker. I worry about others, about what might happen should I die to friends or even my plants. A year ago I would not have worried about anything, ever.”
“Being alone is weak.” Kerissa stated. “It doesn’t feel weak, because surely if nothing falls when you do, if you fall, then its all under control. You have it all on your shoulders. Yet, those who stand alone who fall, simply disappear. Cleanly, controlled, but still falling into nothing. Kind of as you are now.”
She made a gesture to the ruined ship, “How far we are from everything, this could have been where you lived the rest of your life. I think, maybe instead of viewing these people and things as chains, weighing you down and sapping strength from other places, you could view them as supports. You aren’t using all your strength all the time, and yes there’s liabilities, but I think you’ll find you stand taller when they’re around you. There’s more mess when things go wrong, but a mess can be cleaned up. It’s hard, I may not get it in the same way as you but I know I’ve still struggled with learning allowing help. But, individual strength is rarely as powerful as that of a group. If that makes sense?”
Kerissa laughed lightly, the distant shape of a ship appearing on the horizon behind her.
“It’s honestly super weird being the one giving this speech.”
Standing, Remy shouldered her packages and facing the ship growing closer.
“So, there is no answer. The difference between stubbornness and indecisiveness is subjective. I suppose if these questions were simple, philosophers wouldn’t exist.”
Time to go. The grasses and brush rattled in the blast of engines, and Pharn ran back up to gather her own things.
“What about you, Kerissa? Where are you headed from here?”
She had already asked, but it meant something… different now. Not of places, but paths.
Kerissa considered it for a long few moments. Then, she shrugged,
“I’m not sure yet, exactly. I have a plan but its far from comprehensive. Hopefully it’ll be me you hear it from, if you do.”
The shape of the ship was growing larger at this point. She turned to look at Remalia and smiled, “You better wake up grumpy pants, it’s time to get started.”