“Are you being serious, General?” Cryo asked the holoprojector placed upon her countertop. “Not only is he one of ours, but Selen is one of the safest planets I’ve ever been on. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
The hologram of Thea, dressed in her pajamas and messy hair, sighed. The stress of trying to find the missing Kendis has made for many sleepless nights. “Until we find Ellisyn we have to look after her children. We do not know what happened to her. What if someone took her and is after her progeney are the next targets? We can’t risk it.” Cryo opened her mouth to respond but was quickly cut off by Thea. “This is an order, Cryo. We’ve survived this long by being careful. By taking care of each other. Don’t forget that.”
The clone’s lips tightened and she sighed. “I don’t understand why it has to be no contact. Rue is a grown man and the kids could use the company,” she argued.
“He’s a grown man with too many emotions. If he starts to worry it’s just going to stress the kids out and that’s the last thing we need. Not a single Kendis has been able to grow up without constant stress and torment until Lektra and Sulla. They deserve this peace before they start their training.”
With crossed arms, the soldier simply grunted. “Fine. I’ll report back after I’ve established a plan.” The woman’s tone was firm and frustrated, punctuated by her hanging up the call abruptly.
–
A few weeks has passed since Cryo had begun her mission of spying on a fellow Kendis in her free time. It wasn’t difficult to find a tree to perch up in and watch from. She didn’t need to be too close thanks to the wonders of binoculars.
It had gone by fine the first couple of days but at this point not only was it boring by she felt gross. She hated invading Rue, Sulla, and Lektra’s privacy like this and finally couldn’t take it anymore.
She hopped out of the tree she was hiding in and began to make her way over to Rue and the other, orders be damned.
It was another beautiful, if at this time of year sweltering, day as Cryo eventually emerged from the treeline and onto the white-sand beach with crystalline waters. Sulla and Lektra were down by the shoreline, building with the damp sand, the older Twi'lek happily but carefully minding her younger sister, while Rue–
Was turning to look at her before she even spoke up, having just dropped his dress to the earth, light fabric pooling around fine ankle bones as he stepped out. And kickyed lightly. His freckled, scaled face lit up in a soft, sweet smile and crinkle of golden eyes, his swooping ears tilting slightly and his tail flicking and raising in happiness before it curled demurely across his front.
“Hullo!” he called, all the more musical up close, chirping slightly at the end. “Oh, hullo! Have you come to join us at last? This one is so pleased, oh, welcome! Ah, pardon it, me, it– I shall fetch something to drink, your break-the-fast is old but lunch will be just soon after baths.”
Suddenly, it clicked: over the last couple weeks, Rue had continuously been setting four places whenever the family ate. She’d suspected it in hopeful anticipation of Ellisyn’s return. Apparently, they were for her.
Without even needing to think of an excuse to tell Thea as to why she went against a direct order and engaged with Rue fell into her lap the moment she arrived. Maybe this was the right idea.
“Hey, no, don’t. That’s alright, I’m not thirsty. You… Do you remember me?” She asked, knowing that they had only ever experienced passing hellos outside of their initial greeting when Rue was introduced to the clan.
“Of course!” chirped Rue, still smiling at her. “Mistress Cryo! This one is honored and pleased to see you! Please, would Mistress at least have of the water? Hydration is quite important particularly on the Selen and Miss has been outside hours already…ah!” A sudden flush, rose and carnation, bloomed and spread over his cheeks and the tips of his ears, highlighting freckles and scales and disappearing down his throat and chest, where it was visible around his loose hair. He covered himself slightly more with it and his one arm. “Apologies! This one still forgets public nudity is considered an indecency at times even when not illegal at others. A moment, it will redress in underpants.”
Cryo’s professional nature broke soon after their conversation started. Her eyes stuck to Rue for a few beats too long before she finally turned her head away to respect the man’s privacy and decency. She blushed just as much as he did.
“W-water is alright, sure,” she stammered, needing a way out of the situation she found herself in
Whether or not it helped Cryo, Rue did only as he had stated, pulling his undergarments back on with a flick of his tail and two steps of practiced efficiency. Meanwhile, he was already scurrying over to the camp proper, which had come far in the last year, its own mini oasis now. He plucked up a misshapen clay cup with his tail yet again – it was dextrous, she’d noted in her observations, and he used it flawlessly in replacement of his missing forearm that suggested the injury was old – and filled it from a still before reaching to rearrange a fourth cushion in the sand around the fire pit just so and returning to her posthaste. He presented the cup with a deep, graceful bow.
“Here, Mistress Cryo! This one is for you. Please, be welcome.”
Cryo took a deep breath as Rue’s considerate gesture did nothing to stop her racing thougts. She supposed she’d just have to get used to it somehow.
While Rue scurried around she took some time to observe the space s bit more closely, taking in details she couldn’t see from afar, at least when she was able to resist simply looking at the man. It seemed like a safe enough place with enough shelter and food and water for the children to be okay with. And from what the clone saw from afar, the girls seemed to really enjoy being here.
When Rue arrived and started to bow, she blushed again. “No no no, you don’t have to do that. We’re equals, okay? And…” As much as being called mistress made her brain happy, she had to insist, “Just call me Cryo, okay?” She took the cup from the man and had a quick sip to satisfy his request
The hybrid straightened up, his expression shier now but still smiling kindly. “As Mistress wishes,” he purred, and then immediately fussed, stuttering, “Ah, that is– apologies. I shall practice it until it is correct, Cryo.”
His lilting voice wrapped around her name properly as he gave another smile and beckoned her nearer.
“Please, come, sit. Would Miss like to talk, or join us for swimming or supper or bathing?”
Cryo’s grip around her mug tightened for just a moment before she finally relaxed. “Don’t apologize, it’s okay. Just… Try, that’s all I ask,” she said. The way he emphasized her voice brought her a smile, the attempt obvious and thoughtful.
She went to sip on her drink again but sputtered at Rue’s last suggestion. Quickly Cryo wiped the water off her lips and chuckled. “Talking sounds nice, sure. And… I can stay for supper. If you’ll have me.”
Rue’s tail flickered back and forth at the tip faster, a joyful little trill leaving him. “Of course we would! Does Mis– Cryo have any favorite of the foods, or dietary preferences or restrictions? We have foraged fruits and mushrooms and roots but this one could find you other kinds if none are to your liking, or we can simply return to the apartment for supper. Sulla will never be despondent over pasta.”
His smile turned to the girls playing then, and such a love radiated from him in the tender happiness of his stare that it was near palpable on the humid air.
“No, I’ll eat just about anything,” the woman said. She spent the majority of her life eating food rations during the war, and at home it was essentially the same. Any home cooked meal sounded wonderful to her.
“If it’s alright with you, I wouldn’t mind staying at your camp here to eat. It’s… It’s really peaceful out here,” she said, her eyes following over to the girls playing. She smiled, but only partially for the girls. In truth it was on respond to the sheet amount of love that radiated off of Rue. She had heard that he was involved in some sort of experiment but she didn’t have all the details, so to see him this happy… It was nice.
“It is,” Rue agreed, serene gaze flitting over the crystalline water, the beach, the plants around them he’d cultivated and the treeline of the jungle where Cryo had been hiding. He looked to her with that same peace. Another smile. Soft. “This one– I l-like it very much here. To feel the sunlight. It is. Nice. It is a gift. Every moment.”
His eyes slipped closed, and he turned his face up to that sunlight for a moment, the tricolor glint of his metallic lashes sparkling. A quiet noise bubbled from him a moment, making his next words vibrate as he turned back to her.
“It would be lovely to have you anywhere, Miss Cryo. Please! Come, sit, rest!” He gestured to the woven grass cushion he had specifically fluffed and arranged. “Ah, and for the talking, this one has many topics prepared. It shall fetch its notes. Oh! And call the girls over…”
A gift Cryo thought to herself. Growing up on Kamino she was indoors quite often to avoid the storms, and without land there wasn’t many places for her to be anyway.
When Rue gestured, she made her way over to the cushion that had been set out and took a seat down on the ground, sighing as a bit of tension left her body. “Notes?” Cryo asked, curious why he needed notes for simple conversation. “And the girls can keep playing, right? I’m sure I’d only bore them and they look like they’re having fun.”
“This one is rather suspect Miss Cryo would ever bore,” Rue rebutted in his demure fashion, crawling over to a whole small stable of woven chests, baskets, and satchels of various sorts. His loose hair dragged in the sand, but he didn’t seem to mind as he stretched impressively and bent his slim torso over the edge of one deep trunk, hips dangling a bit, in order to dig into it. He reemerged with a tumble backwards and a successful *mrow*ing chirp with a stack of notebooks tied with a string and heavily tabbed and marked, then righted himself and scurried back over to plop thigh to thigh with Cryo.
“Notes!” he exclaimed, tail reaching around her back in order to get to his lap, a deft flick pulling the ribbon while his one hand held fast, releasing the bundle. His half arm and hand expertly shifted the stack, and he picked up the third and opened it for her to a bookmarked page. “These are my initial volumes of Topics for the Small Talking. They have since expanded, of course, but it would be most wasteful for this one not to continue through them, and it finds the chronology…pleasing.”
Licking a finger to help, he turned another page of flimsi and showed her. Rue’s handwriting, whether originally dominant or not, was beautiful; near calligraphic, yet still rigidly spaced and dutifully intended and neat. He had annotations, footnotes, and citations like some research papers.
The page he pointed to now in example said:
- Would you rather have pancakes or waffles?
- Are you a tooka or kath hound person?
- Have you read any good holos[7] lately?
- What are you most excited about in your life right now?
- What’s your biggest fear?
- What’s the nicest thing anyone has done for you?
- What’s on your bucket list?³
Following the indicator to the bottom notes, she’d see that:
-# 3: ‘bucket list,’ an idiomatic[0.2] noun indicating activities one wishes to accomplish before expiration.
“Do any of these interest Mistress– er, Cryo.”
Cryo’s eyes stuck to Rue like glue as he moved to his trunk if books and trinkets. She looked for as long as she could before a faint blush appeared on her cheeks and she had to turn away to look to the cup situated in her lap. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the adorable noise the man made.
It was when she began to question what could potentially be wrong with herself that Rue plopped down beside her. “Notes,” she parroted, allowing him to get situated and ready before she asked exactly what was going on. Then, the hybrid’s tail wrapped around her side, and without thinking she pushed herself ever so closer to the man.
“You’re quite the… Studier? Researcher?” The clone searched for the correct word in her head before shaking it off, her attempt at commenting on the notes failing completely. “Have you… Read any good books recently?” She asked, slightly uncertain
Rue’s skin flushed again for the compliment, and he ducked his head, spine curled, lashes low. “This one is unworthy,” he said with a quick roteness that could only be programmed one way or another, like the other Clones had said, “yes, General!” But then he tacked on: “Ah, that is, thank you. This one is quite practiced.”
He perked a moment later, all smiles and sunshine, for her latter query. His tail flicked happily, and she could feel each brush on her back and arm.
“And yes! This one has! Does Miss Cryo wish to hear of them? Or perhaps discuss her own readings? Does Cryo read? Are there any good books for you of late?”
Cryo’s heart sunk. He wasn’t unworthy or praise. She knew it and hopefully someday he would know it.
“Yes, yes I would like to hear of them. Especially since all the things I read are rather on the boring side. I just try to catch up with and keep up with history, all of the things I missed.”
“This one does not think the history is boring at all. Overwhelming, at times, perhaps, because as you say, there is so very much that is missed…but it finds such texts to be extremely helpful, as well as quite cautionary. Conflicting stories of historical record can be confusing in particular…which account is this one to interpret as truth? According to everyone on the Outside, this one’s truth is incorrect. But for this one, it was fact. For all its years…”
Rue grew quieter, and then blushed.
“Forgive this one, Mistress, it is rambling. I would be interested in what Cryo reads. What she has missed or feels is missing. What she misses.”
“The history itself isn’t boring, but having to catch up on so much is certainly a time sink. One that I really wish I didn’t have to do,” she said with a sigh.
“Don’t apologize, Rue. I don’t mind you talking, your voice is sorta soothing,” she admitted, stalling. What did Cryo miss? Her whole life before waking up was war.
“I think… I miss how my family was. I miss the structure of everything, too. Life is so uncertain now, and sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself, y'know?”
“Yes!” the fervor of his answer seemed to startle even him, making Rue release a small merp! of shock and shrink in on himself for a moment, shoulders collapsing and head retracting. But he rallied a second later, lip caught under his fangs and tail waving furiously. “Yes, Mistress! It is– it can be so very frustrating. This one was so good once. It was good it did everything right, it had to. It was good it followed orders! And when it did not it was corrected and punished and then it could do better. But on the Outside, no. Everything this one does or did is wrong. Bad. Upsetting. And the things it wants are also so. And there are quite literally more than a centillion contradictory rules per person, per city, per planet and sector and system! And social conventions!”
He awkwardly threw up his arm and a half, the gesture less natural and more as though he was mimicking one of those aforementioned social conventions.
“How are we meant to know them all? This one may be doomed to live for the ever, and it would be physically impossible to learn the requisite information. The rules change and become redundant. And many are wrong but you must know they are wrong somehow even though the rule is stated there– Elly cites this all of the times, especially when she is lying and doing the hypocrisy. It is. So very much.”
His rant suddenly came to an end as he slumped, lip gnawing and stuck out pouting, a tiredness to him that seemed ancient under the burst of mania. He shook himself, a ruffle from ear to tail to toes, and then smiled at Cryo.
“Oh, but! Miss Cryo. If miss does not mind this one’s voice and wishes not to spend the time of the catching up on history, this one could assist? It will do the reading and, if Cryo wishes, provide the information to her by sharing it between our minds. The technique is not perfect but it is quite useful. It was…one of our only secrets. From the Masters and Mistresses. Though surely not from God. Grandmother and I. And the litluns.”
Cryo nodded and listened to the man rant. The beginning tore her heart to pieces. Though she understood norms and rules being different, the extent to which he spoke of it, the words he used to express it, all he did was show to the clone just how much he had suffered wherever he was. The comment about living forever didn’t escape her, but she decided now probably wasn’t the time for that.
“I think part of life is learning how to behave and act in certain places because not everywhere and not everyone is the same. It is really frustrating, though. I’ll give you that,” she said with a chuckle, trying to be at least a little reassuring. “And… Yeah that sounds nice. You reading to me that is, maybe not the whole… Information sharing thing.”
“Oh, well, this one would be happy to do that as well!” he chirped, all but glowing at the opportunity to help. His smile was back, and he stared at her intently. “Miss Cryo has a lovely laugh and smile. It will do its best of the reading! I read to the girls every night to which Cryo is welcome before bedtime but we could read during the days and also. Oh!” The hybrid looked over his shoulder. “Will Miss be sleeping the over? We do not have appropriate snacks and games for a proper sleepover, but of course you are welcome to stay.”
Cryo’s smile grew further under the man’s compliments. She knew that with all his trauma and how devoted he was to doing things correctly, he wouldn’t mince his words and say all that for nothing.
“Oh, sleep over?” She asked, not really considering the idea. She had taken residence in a hotel near Elly’s apartment during the week but when they were camping she found herself in a small shelter in the trees, something that wasn’t very comfortable to say the least. “Sure, I can sleep over,” then she paused. “There are snacks you need for sleepovers?”
“Wonderful! I have been worrying for you in the forest all by yourself, oh, this one is so glad!” He hugged her then, flush and bright, nuzzling her cheek, before then just as quickly letting go and crawling over her lap in order to get back to another wicker chest of notebooks without, apparently, getting up. “And yes! There are rules. Rituals and such. This one was taught by a friend named Esen. She was very knowledgeable of the sleepovers. There are important snacks, and pajamas are required, as well as games such as truths of dares.”
Rue wriggled and rolled back over, sitting back up, still on her lap, with another notebook. He flipped through to a particular marker and turned it to show her notes on the subject.
“See?”
“worrying for me?” She asked, a little surprised. She still hadn’t gotten over the fact he had noticed her, let alone began to worry for her. Though she supposed it fit his very caring nature. Her arm found itself around the man’s thin waist, accidentally pulling him in from just how light he was.
And then he was off, scurrying over her, grabbing a notebook, and coming right back. But he didn’t go back to his spot, no, he decided it would be a smart idea to simply sit in her lap. She understood on some level that it would be easier to show her something and look at it with her but the blush that crept across her cheeks showed that she wasn’t reading the pages.
“Th-that sounds wonderful, Rue,” she said, trying her best to keep composure and not embarrass herself. “We can still play truth or dare,” she suggested, trying to not draw attention to their situation.
“Oh! Okay! Yes, Miss, we can do that if Miss would like!” chirped the man, and turned more pages rapidly. He checked a note, frowned, and loosed a grumpy squeaky growl of noise that vibrated from his back to her chest.
The little tag on the page was an indication, which said, in the looping, precise yet shockingly intricate calligraphy of his writing: [see: v. 12 s. 3].
“One moment, the example truths of daring I have gathered are in another notebook.”
He actually had to get up this time, going to another chest entirely. While he was up, the hybrid paused to look over at where the girls were playing and smiled at them, sun dappled on his skin and sparkling in the metallic threads of his hair as the breeze caught them and lifted them about his thin body.
Cryo thanked the maker the moment the man crawled out of her lap. She adjusted how she was sitting and took a deep breath to calm himself. She was pretty sure he said something about grabbing another book, but this time she couldn’t watch in the interest of keeping things normal for the both of them.
But when he didn’t come back in the same amount of time, Cryo looked over to see him gazing off into the distance, the sunlight literally shining off of him. It was something out of a fairytale, or pin up mag, one of the two. “Wow…” She muttered to herself, taken aback by the man’s beauty, content to simply stare
After a moment, the hybrid looked back, perhaps sensing eyes on him, and absolutely beamed at her. His dimples could have had dimples. He glowed, chirped, a sort of happy, ekekek. And then gave a little wave hello and went to scurry to the chest he’d intended, bending to pick out the necessary notebook after some digging and return to her.
This time, he didn’t sit directly back in her lap, perhaps a mercy and a loss. Instead he sat beside her again, still pressed all along her side, close enough to show the journal he opened.
“These are of the truths,” Rue displayed one side, folding fingers in to indicate the thickness of pages where sections changed, “and this portion is the darings. This one looks for more in the holozines and such materials when it can go update the content. Which would Cryo like to try?”
Cryo’s heart melted as she returned Rue’s smile. Everything about him was just so pure and adorable. It was like socializing with a very lithe, very purple marshmallow.
She couldn’t help but be a little saddened that the man was choosing to sit beside her again, but she knew she should be more relieved than anything. The tension that came with their previous arrangement was a bit much.
“Hmmm… How about a dare?”
“Very well!” chirped Rue, flipping open to the middle, the first page of the section. His penmanship was rigorously perfect in the listing. They seemed to be subdivided by topic.
“Classics” * Do the worm. * Bite into an onion. * Try to lick your elbow. * Do 100 jumping jacks. * Dance for one minute. * Play air guitar for two minutes. * Do your best impression of me. * Write your name using your toes. * Brush your teeth with peanut butter. * Try not to laugh for the next 10 minutes. * Jump in the shower with your clothes on. * Recite the alphabet with your mouth closed.
“This one does not have a shower here, but the ocean seems reasonable. Nor does it know what one is meant to do to a worm, but it hopes it is not cruel.”
It wasn’t fair. The man was simply too adorable for his own good with all his cute little noises and wide smiles. Cryo hadn’t realized just how much she was enjoying herself.
“A lot of those are very… Wait you don’t have a shower here? How do you clean yourself??”
Rue looked at her with amusement. Once it might have been puzzlement, but he had experience from Elly. “We wash in the ocean.” He flicked his tail in indication at the vast crystalline waters, then flicked it at a basket that looked like a bathroom caddy, but woven from palm fronds. It had lumps of soap, bottles of children’s shampoo and soaps, scrubbing poofs, combs. “As this one said, it was but about to bathe for the day when you finally came to join us! Would Cryo like a bath? This one can wash your hair.”
It was a reiteration of the earlier invitation, but seemed proper as he leaned closer, still smiling, loose hair falling around him and framing his still mostly naked body.
Cryo’s cheeks flushed as she looked to her lap, her mind once again racing. “Isn’t that a little forward?” She asked, having no idea if the man was intentionally doing this to her or not. Maybe he was that innocent, but she hoped he wasn’t.
Rue’s head tilted as he blinked at her. “This one believes that as washing should be done all over the body, it is somewhat omnidirectional, however it has certainly had litluns whose fur or scales, when present, did grow in specific directions and grooming with the grain of that growth, such as forward, was more comfortable…”
“Right…” Cryo said in agreeance, letting out a soft, almost disappointed chuckle. “That makes sense.” She should’ve known better than to get her hopes up. Her recent encounter her her brains wires all crossed. Get it together she thought to herself.
“I appreciate the offer, but maybe we should get to know each other a bit more first. That’s something that… Well that’s something that Thea and Angel would do. And we just met.” Cryo hoped Rue would see where she was going with her line of thinking
“Oh.” Disappointment fell over Rue like a stormcloud blocking out the sun, visible in his entire being: his tail fell still and flat, his ears tucked back and down, his shoulders slumped and lower lip pouted out around his fangs, eyes downcast. All of him became smaller, hunching in, as though prepared for a strike, and he picked at his own nail beds, bloodying habitually. He turned so that he could bow to her while seated. “This one apologizes for its gross presumption. Yes, Mistre– Miss Cryo, of course, it is not worthy of such closeness, it apologizes that it overstepped. It hopes that one day in time that it could be as much a close brother and sister to Cryo as Mistresses Thea and Angelica.”
Kriff. Cryo began to panic, her heart sinking. “Hey hey hey, no it’s okay. It’s not gross.” The clone watched him pick at his nails and anxiety immediately grew more. She wrapped her arms around the man, holding him close. “You’re worthy. You are. I just, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable and I don’t want you to feel like you’re being taken advantage of because I know what that’s like and it sucks. Please don’t cry. That’s why I’m here, right? So we can become close.”
Rue made a little noise like a whimper and a mewl when pulled into her arms. He was incredibly thin and light, though his tiny, long body had more mass on it and more muscle than the holos of him Thea had in his files from the previous year when he’d begun spending time around Ellisyn’s children. The man had been skeletal in those, beyond emaciated. Here in her arms, Rue was warm and bright, folding easily and with total trust into the hug and nuzzling into her neck. He spoke close to her ear, lips brushing tan skin.
“Okay.” It was simple but hopeful agreement. And a little soothing, as though she was the one that needed comfort– his arm wrapped around her, stroking up and down her back smoothly, his tail following suit to embrace more tightly, the purr in his body a physical thing. “This one has no reason to be uncomfortable with Miss Cryo. You are my family, correct? It does not understand how you could make it feel taken advantage of but it can feel your pain in speaking of this ‘sucks’ and it would like to understand and to soothe that pain if Cryo would allow it. To make Cryo happy and feel good again.”
Up and down, stroked his hand. All down her back. He lifted up enough to meet her face steadily with wet, glimmering golden eyes and then pressed a kiss to her forehead, humming half a string of song.
Cryo ran a hand through Rue’s hair, her other hand stationary at his lower back, her thumb tracing soft lines. Goosebumps shot up across her skin as Rue’s words brushed against her ear.
“Yes, we’re family,” she clarified, her voice low and soothing. “And I really appreciate it… But it’s a lot to get into. And you’re so… Innocent”
Even as she said innocent, her tracing thumb skirting close to the base of Rue’s spine, the base of his tail, pulled what could only be called a moan out of the slim man. He keened and collapsed against her, melting like she’d flicked an off switch, pressed all along her front and into her lap. A flush bloomed over his hidden face and neck, the tips of his swoopy ears, promising to go further if the right pressure was applied.
“A-apologies,” he stuttered, trying to push himself back up by bracing on her bicep one-handed. “This one’s tail is a direct extension of its spine and theref-fore very sen-sitive. It likes the sensation of petting there very much it has discovered, but its physical reactions, it has been advised, are somewhat socially inappropriate. Ah, nmmn, this one would prefer to clarify, it often experiences others decreeing it as ‘innocent’ and has come to find this…perturbing. Elly did so, often. And many more have. This one understands that it is not knowledgeable of many, many things on the Outside. But it also wishes others and its family especially to know that it is not without experience or knowledge. Innocent is defined as ‘free from moral or legal wrong; without sin; not involving evil intent or motive; not causing physical or moral injury.’ And this one…”
Rue looked away again, hunching, and drew out of Cryo’s hold. He huddled in the sand, staring somewhere far away, and there were more tears but clear centuries shining in his eyes when he looked back.
“This one is not innocent.”
Cryo’s eyes widened as her mind unwillingly began to take notes. There was only one thing that changed in that moment, and she’d never be able to get that sound he made out of her head. “N-no, I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t think- I didn’t know,” she tried to defend her action but the point way moot, especially when he pulled away and began to cry once more.
The clone scooted over to Rue and once again brought him into her arms. “Then… Then show me. Show me what you know. Let me teach you what you don’t.” The woman didn’t know what had come over her. She had just met the fellow yet, after weeks of watching him, learning him, she couldn’t help but want to do this for him. He was family.
There was no way she’d be able to broach the topic of him being guilty for whatever perceived wrongs he had committed, but she was determined to someday. For now, she just wanted Rue happy.
“… this one– I would like that.” Rue went easily as anything into her hug, so pliant. He just held still initially, before slowly sliding arm and tail back around to hug her back, evidently enjoying the contact from how he hummed. After a moment, he drew back somewhat, wiping idly at his face. “Ahem, this one apologizes if this has been too much physical contact. It finds it difficult to discern which boundaries are appropriate according to relationship and time, as Cryo alluded to…Ah. And Miss need not apologize for her touch. This one does not protest it; merely it has been advised against certain expressive reactions in certain situations.”
Cryo knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut, but curiosity always ended up getting the better of her. Especially now that they were embracing once again. She’d try and rationalize that she was simply trying to find a starting point in their journey of education, never admitting the truth.
“Well… what reactions are those?” She asked, curious to see if it was pain, discomfort, or something else.
Rue sat up straighter, consequently pushing his hips into hers, but didn’t crawl off of her, since she had not indicated he was being inappropriate. He began listing off subjects with an elocution that wasn’t dissimilar to a fellow soldier giving a report, only with the cadence and tone more of a servant or a scholar, demure yet technical.
“The demonstrated case herein is ones of enjoyment, as Elly has said these are inappropriate at times, particularly with touching or food. This one is still trying to categorize which particular set of expressions in which instances, as it cannot be consistently monitored, nor does it wish to be any longer a thing that is observed and experimented on for science…ah, that is tangentially also advised against. Elly says that this one discussing certain topics in certain situations is also inappropriate, typically when they involve certain sciences or studies that are, it seems, deemed advanced or sinful to children or others, and also when this one is questioned of its past. She says that this one can make people uncomfortable due to the content of its past and the manner in which it discusses them. Additionally, this one has observed that people display various reactions of discomfort, anger, and upset or sadness around it when it speaks or acts more often than not; it has notes attempting to assign percentages to these values but the data is obviously skewed due to self-reporting and the self’s limited capacity to correctly inference intent and emotion via context it is lacking.”
He paused for breath (just one) and was gnawing his knuckle almost thoughtfully as he recounted.
“This of course is all extremely counter to what it was meant to display previously, with the Masters and Mistresses. Emotionality was disallowed in front of them unless they demanded it, in which instances it was of course given. Sensations were to be reported upon but not grossly; some Masters and Mistresses had different demands. God saw all, of course, for He is all powerful and all seeing, and at times reactions would result in punishment and be corrected. This one was very good, as it said. And it is… difficult to not be good now. To be mistaken so often, and never given correction as it needs. But of course to have sunlight and cocoa and its family is wonderful. Oh, crying is not disallowed but it can cause the discomfort…Elly and many people tell this one not to bow or refer to them with titles appropriately, as Miss Cryo has also asked…ah…”
He seemed to be trying to think of what else.
Cryo’s fingertips lightly dug into Rue’s flesh, just a for a short moment. Then, she listened. And she began to understand just how much he tries. She understood why people would get uncomfortable with certain conversations but she hated that Rue didn’t seem to have an outlet, a place where he could share and talk. Abruptly, she pressed her forehead against Rue’s.
“Things… Things are different. And relearning everything is hard. It feels impossible at times. But I believe in you.” Cryo thought back to all the times Angel would tell her to stop saying Sir because they weren’t in the war anymore, they were equals. But to this day, it never really clicked for her. She was made for a reason. And not that reason was gone.
Rue sniffled, and happily pressed his forehead back with a mrow. He rubbed their cheeks. “And this one believes in you, Cryo. Thank you for being its family.”
A splash and a squeal drew his head whipping around, but it seemed everything was fine– the girls were doing Stompies with Alk now. Rue laughed lightly and faced his sister again, a gentle purr beginning as he simply relaxed back into her body.
“Ah, did this one answer adequately?”
“thank you for being mine,” Cryo said. She looked over with Rue towards the kids and wondered. Would she ever have them? Maybe. Probably not. She was good to die alone.
“You did, Rue. Thank you.” At the end of the day, Cryo didn’t get much of the info she wanted but what she did get was more than she could’ve ever asked for
Rue’s purr stuttered at the affirmation and gratitude, then redoubled harder, and he whimpered a happy little mrrp whine at it as he ducked to nuzzle under her chin. It was a bowing motion– but a converted one.
“This one is so happy then,” he said, “to do well for Miss Cryo. Did she still want to play the truths of daring?”
Cryo was happy to put her chin atop Rue’s head as he nuzzled in. She had read about and noticed his more friendly, borderline catlike tendencies, so she wasn’t surprised. More than anything she was glad he was comfortable enough to do such a thing. All she had to do was mind his montrails.
“I don’t see why not. Although… what if you came up with a dare for me? Or a truth? Just something from you, something from the heart.”
“Oh! Um.” A nervous jitter whipped his tail, and though tucked low, she could feel the shifts in movement against her body that indicated he was chewing on something, whether that was his knuckles or cheeks and lip – a quick glance down confirmed the former. “U-uh-ahpplogies, this one is– not very practiced at the coming up with of things. Suchlike originality was… discouraged.” He spoke the word like tiptoeing over glass, carefully picked. “Ah, c– may the thing be. Influenced by examples?”
Cryo’s heart dropped the moment she saw him gnawing on his own flesh once again. “Hey hey hey, it’s aright. It’s nothing to stress over, right? We’re just here together, enjoying our time. No reason to be nervous, okay?” She tried to reassure him that it was okay because the last thing she needed was blood on her shirt and this wonderful man in pain. “Using examples is perfectly fine.”
“This one is not…nervous,” Rue replied, though he sounded less sure. “It feels– as is typical for this body now. Homeostatic.” He nibbled more lightly with a thoughtful murr. “Then…this one would ask Miss Cryo…what is something she enjoys? Such as this one does the sunlight, and cocoa, and the pets like earlier.”
“You’re chewing on your knuckle,” she replied. “Is that part of homeo… is that part of the norm?” she asked, wanting and hoping he wouldn’t nibble on himself forever while they were near each other.
And as for the question, Cryo had to think for a moment. “Hmmm… I like knives?” She said, genuinely a fan of collecting different ones. “I also enjoy reading, spending time on the beach, the quiet. Stuff like that.”
Rue stopped as it was called attention to, sitting on his hand. It smeared a few drops of blood on his bare, lightly scaled and freckled thigh. His voice dropped to a whisper directed at their tangled feet.
“This one is not meant to react unless a reaction is commanded. But…but the Masters and Mistresses did not always. Notice. O-or care? to forbid it. From. Chewing. Itself.” He spoke haltingly, slow. “Or would remark it…an allowable deficiency. Like its distraction with the litluns. It was…enrichment. Only a few forbade it. O-one in specific. D-di-did no-t a–”
He had started to shake, and cut off from the clicking in his throat. He balled tighter into her lap.
Cryo reached for the man’s hand, bringing his knuckles to her mouth. She almost kissed them until she realized that might be a bit much. Instead, she just pretended to inspect the blood, watching it heal.
“I just don’t want you to hurt,” she said, matter of factly. “You’re not in trouble, I promise.”
For a second, Rue just trembled in her hold. Then he exhaled shakily, and a sudden and abrupt calm came over his body, totally pacified. The tiny, already-closing holes in his hand rapidly closed over and smoothed with new skin.
“Yes, Miss. This one can be unhurt,” he murmured. Then: “Cryo likes many things that this one does also. It hopes that these overlapping interests mean we will be good friends. The texts suggest this is suitable for friendships.” He nodded with satisfaction. “Although this one is …unsure of. Knives. What does Cryo like about them?”
Kriff it she out a soft kiss to his knuckles before bringing them back down to the top of his knees, one arm around him still to keep the curled up orb in her lap.
“You are right, it does.” She gave him a slight squeeze. Her answer to his question wasn’t the most fun but… Hopefully it wouldn’t scare him off. “Knives are… They’re personal. They’re precise. Each one has its own personality, its own balance. I have some that I cherish until I have to throw them, and then they’re gone. But I have some that are so important that they’ll stay with me forever.”
Rue was quiet, listening attentively, and gave a hum, a few bars, and it sounded distinctly like the lullabies he sang Lektra and Sulla that she had only heard through her bugs in the apartment.
He looked at her with the saddest, oldest smile then.
“This one understands this,” Rue told her. “It is similar to this one’s litluns. Some only lived minutes. Some years. All mattered. All were alive. And I have loved them all with all my heart and loved and lost them. All of them. But they will always be with me forever as well.” Perhaps because she had kissed his hand, he took this as allowance to lean up and kiss her cheek. “Knives scare this one. It has been…hurt by them.” His hand lifted from his knees to touch, unconsciously, the silvery brands of Ancient Sith cut into his chest. “But framed by Cryo’s love, the knives do not seem so terrible. They sound precious.”
Cryo’s heart swelled and sunk. It was known that the man had many children in the past but hearing it from him, hearing the love and care he had for those that he had lost, it was almost overwhelming.
And then he kissed her cheek.
The clone began to blush a little, once again feeling as if she was taking advantage of him. Yet she didn’t tell him to kiss her, he did it by choice. “I’m sorry they’re gone, Rue. I’m so sorry.”
“As am I,” he said kindly, cupping her cheek like he was the one comforting her. And be didn’t seem distraught, only calm and sad and happy and tired. “But I am so, so glad that they were here at all. That is beautiful and incomparable and eternal, under the Goddess’ light. Much like Cryo is.”
The woman’s cheeks flushed thanks to Rue’s touch, thanks to his compliment. “You’re… You’re also very beautiful, Rue.”
It was the hybrid’s turn to flush, and oh boy, did it indeed travel and wasn’t that obvious with him curled in her lap and almost naked. His lilac skin shimmered with just a touch of luminous golden gilt overtop the bloom of a rosey riotous blush that made all his freckles stand out sharply. It crossed his nose, cheeks, and ears, flooding down his neck and across his chest and…and…
He squirmed a little, ducking his head until his chin touched his collar, tail tip curling into his hand shyly.
“T-thank you.”
A giddy feeling overtook the clone. Watching the man blush, washing him duck in, seemingly affected by her comment. Very lightly, she caressed the tip of his tail, trying to offer something soothing.
“No, thank you,” she smiled. “Was that too much?”
A squeak escaped him at the first brush, but then the long, flexible limb answered her touch, coiling more around her wrist and sliding through her palm. The fur on the tip, as long and silky and multicolored as his hair, fell over her thigh.
“‘Too much’ what?” Rue questioned, purring harder while she stroked.
Seeing Rue’s reaction, Cryo happily continued her petting, enjoying the comfort of having his tail wrapped around her palm. “Am I pushing any of your boundaries?” She clarified. “I want to know if you’re comfortable.”
“Oh.” Rue thought. “Yes, boundaries. Elly has emphasized these, as have Hunyi and others…this one has tried to make a list. It has been admittedly unsuccessful, or the least, as no one has so far corrected it, feels a failure. As though it has not quantified…forgive this one, it is rambling. I am comfortable.” His tail contracted, demonstrating it could squeeze her hand back and stroke her palm too. She had seen him do so much with it. “This feels good.”
“I’m glad you’re comfortable,” Cryo said, reluctantly admitting something of her own. “I’m… I’m really comfortable, too. Thank you.” It had been quite some time since she was comfortable enough with someone to be able to hold them outside of something spicy. “You don’t need to stop rambling, either. I like hearing you talk.”
Rue’s blush only deepened, redder and crawling past nipples and shoulders. With Cryo stroking his tail and his tail stroking her arm, he started nibbling on his hand again. It seemed not to just be a nervous gesture, but an absent one, as he was purring loud and hard, a happy chirpp thrown in.
“I am so happy you are comfortable. And that this one can be good…for you. Can this one do anything else that Cryo would like in addition to talking?”
“Just this is good, Rue,” Cryo said, a soft smile on her face. She gave him another soft squeeze and closed her eyes, letting the comfort of the man take her. She was surprised she was able to relax so easily but… Something about the man helped her feel safe, truly safe.