Evelyn knew that Cole would be here soon. They both had arrived to their last meeting location rather early.
‘If you are on time, you are late.’ The words rang in her mind from her past commanding officer.
Her legs were crossed under the table and she didn’t realize that her top leg was bouncing out of nervousness until her foot slightly kicked the pole of the table. With a deep sigh, she centered herself and shifted her hips to avoid that happening again.
Coles delay was due to his refusal to take his cane with him. Longer walks were getting better now, even if still slower than his prior pace for now.
So long as it wasnt too long on his feet hed be fine. He was not meeting Myla while leaning on a karking cane.
The thought made him unnaturally jittery but he shoved it down. Evelyn was visible from the window, allowing Cole to walk directly to her on entering. He sat down, glancing at the clock. Still, five minutes early.
“Morning.”
Evelyn gave him a small nod and her leg had stopped bouncing. She decided to wait until the waitress took their orders and walked away.
“I did not know you had moved here,” Evelyn started, attempting to have a friendly conversation with Cole instead of just constantly going straight to business when they meet up to set up schedule.
Oh. Small talk. Weird.
“It was recent. We’re still settling in but its a nice change of pace.” He commented, admittedly a little thrown off by the unexpected niceties. Though, they.. probably should have a better rapport.
“Are you and… Anders still together?”
“Yes, it was why I moved here. We… are married after all.” Evelyn was actually starting to get used to the question, mainly from coworkers who had worked under him before he moved to another department when he became a combat master.
She assumed it was one of the reason why Cole asked. Anders wasn’t an easy guy to get along with. Or work with.
Or even love.
And yet, the pair of them hasn’t even say those three words. There was a flicker of doubt in her eyes for a moment as their order arrived and it was gone as fast as she blinked.
Evelyn picked up her caf and took a sip before setting it down.
“I do enjoy this climate better than what Selen had.” Evelyn always prefer the cold climate that Kasiya was and it remidnded her of home. Despite almost having no good memories of that place, she still rather enjoyed the climate.
She cleared her throat.
“When do you think is the soonest you can do to visit Ga'ia?” She got out her datapad and went to her calendar.
.
Cole noticed. Of course he did, kark when did he ever not notice something? But, he didn’t comment yet. She wanted to avoid it, and he wasn’t keen to press it before they saw Myla. They didn’t need to argue again.
“It’s different. Perks and downs.”
He sipped his coffee, somewhat relieved when Evelyn returned to business.
“We’ll be settled in within the next week. The case with the Foggy Butcher is resolved as it can be, so I’ll be able to move around again. Yourself?”
“Mm. You are not wrong,” Evelyn gave him a small grin and nodded. The Foggy Butcher. She was glad it was resolved but a part of her had a sneaking suspicion there was more to come.
And every time that happened on Selen, she was right.
“I am already settled. I still have my job with the Envoy and currently working to get into the Wild-” She stopped herself and thank goodness she didn’t show emotion but there was a very small twitch of her lip in annoyance. Why, why did it have to be that name?
“… A military air assault pilot group.” She finally finished and glanced back down to her calendar as she gave Cole a specific date to see if it would work.
It did. They agreed on the day, sorted out a time and that… was that.
“So, what group?” He asked curiously, “I’m not familiar yet with the squadrons. Not enough to name them all.”
Evelyn just stared at Cole, not sure if he was being serious or pulling her leg.
“It has an unprofessional name that I rather not say.”
“Oh.”
Cole blinked, surprised that such a thing bothered her but shrugged, letting it go.
“Well, I’ll see you soon.”
To say she was nervous was an understatement but it didn’t show. Decades of being under Darth Dol and military had helped steel her expressions. And the gift of resting schutta face. Except when she smiles.
Which she hated because of her dimples.
Aketa used to love making her smile and then poking her dimples and comment on them.
Something Evelyn missed sometimes.
Then she blinked. Why was she thinking about Aketa right now? She shifted on the bench as she waited for Cole.
Cole arrived only a matter of minutes after she did. He’d once again forgone the cane. It had been nearly 2 weeks! He was even better now it was fine.
Or so he’d told Sofila, barely dodging her trying to shove into his belt.
Evelyn was sitting as calm as ever. He wondered if he appeared that calm. Likely, though he couldn’t help assume she was as jitterily nervous as he was.
“Wyvern.”
“Farrow.” Evelyn got up from the bench and slightly closed the distance.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes. I think so. Lead the way.”
He came up beside her, letting Evelyn begin to walk before following her. Whereas before the pair had been on par for pace, now Cole moved more slowly. Not enough that they still didn’t arrive as expected to the family home of Evelyn’s sister, husband and children.
Cole gestured toward the door, allowing Evelyn to lead on that as well. He still felt odd, acting as a civillian. Normal. Meeting his niece and… not worrying. Out of place.
Evelyn pushed the doorbell once she made sure her clothes were okay.
And it was like chaos erupted.
“THE DOOR. THE DOOR IS RINGING-” A child yelled out
“MOOOOOM, Kani is trying to put a bug in my drawers aggaaaaiiiin-” Another screamed.
“Kani! Stop bothering, Lestrom!” A female voice rang out as Skylar opened the door and smiled at seeing the pair.
“It’s a bit wild at the moment, come in come in-” A little boy was starting to run down the hallway to run pass her but as if she experienced this thousand of times, Skylar’s hand immediately snatched down to keep Lestrom from running out of the door as the boy whined.
“But MOOOOM I wanted to play outs-”
“What did I say?”
“Not until after the stupid gues-
”… I didn’t say stupid but close enough, mister, now get back in here.“ Skylar left the door open for the two of them to enter.
Evelyn was frozen for a moment before she followed them down the hallway and into the living room as Ted was holding a bug, displeased, and two younger girls. One must be a sibling to Lestrom cause they looked similar and the other was obviously older.
Myla.
Tednor handed the bug towards the younger girl, "Go put him up. You know the rules. No bugs out of their enclosure when guests are here.” Kani scoffed and rolled her eyes but she gently took her bug back and went off to, assumedly, put her bug away.
Myla tilted her head at them. “Who are they?”
“I- We are a friend of your mother,” Evelyn responded. “My name is Evelyn and this is Cole.”
Myla scoffed at Evelyn, “Then how come she never invited you two here before?” As she crossed her arms.
Skylar gave Myla a pointed look.
Cole had no idea what to say or do. The two other little ones were chaotic, reminding him dearly of the past. It was like being shunted into a different hallway, different voices yelling but laughter filling their voices either way. And then his eyes landed on Myla and his heart could have stopped. She had his eyes. Graham’s eyes. Not entirely, the shape was akin to Evelyn’s but the colour and the stubborn annoyance- by the stars.
He wanted to run. Grief burned. But no, this-
Cole forced himself to not stare, glancing to Evelyn to see her reaction. He couldn’t really figure her out, especially a step behind as he was. He leaned on his still full-biological leg.
“It’s a good question.” Cole defended Myla, the words leaving his tongue before he fully registered he wanted to say them. Not careful at all. Kark. He allowed himself to look somewhat sheepish when Skylar looked at him.
Skylar shifted her eyes over to Cole as if saying, ‘really?’
“Cole and I have very busy jobs and our system is rather far from here, a few days worth,” explained Evelyn
Then Myla squinted at them in confusion then with full on sarcasm:
“Are you two droids or something? Couch is right there-”
“Myla.”
Evelyn smiled gently as she sat down at the couch and waited for Cole to follow suit, then both Lestrom and Kani came running in.
“So, who are they-”
“I dunno-”
“Ask them-”
“No, you ask them-”
“Okay! What are your names?” The boy twin asked but Myla was quick.
“Evelyn and Cole-”
“Oooh!” And just like that the twins attention was gone as they went to focus on the datapad games. Myla grabbed hers and started to play.
Skylar started to speak, “So, are you two staying for dinn-”
“You said you had busy jobs, what do you do?” Myla interjected as the twin’s head peeked up to look at the pair.
Cole sat down awkwardly. He felt like a droid, truly, not knowing how to even begin to exist in this space.
What did he do?
Cole blinked twice before deciding to dump Evelyn in it, “Evelyn is a pilot.”
Just hearing her voice. And where was this sarcasm coming from? It had to be Graham, she wasn’t like this-
But then again, she didn’t have a normal childhood. She was expected to be the perfect doll. Do not talk back.
Myla has the childhood that Evelyn never had and it gave her such joy knowing that she chose well of who to give Myla to.
Even with the sass and all.
Now, it was Evelyn’s turn to be caught off guard and it was because of Cole’s answer. Her head snapped towards him in surprise before she composed herself.
“That is right. As well an artifact researcher for the Envoy Corps. It is…. a new job. I got hired this morning. And Cole, he is well-” She wasn’t sure how much she wanted him to tell Myla. Her bright green eyes darted to Skylar for a moment as she shrugged.
“I mean, the children already know Teddy and I have dangerous jobs ourselves. They are even in training for self def-”
The three kids groaned.
“The teacher is soooooo smelly-” Kani grumbled
Skylar pinched the bridge of her nose, “He can’t help it! It’s his species-”
“He still stinks,” Lestrom added.
“Mine is more confidential.” Cole answered, hesistating. It wasn’t as bad as before. It wasn’t illegal, actually really the opposite. When did that happen?
“I work in the office of secret intelligence. Lots of paperwork mostly, investigative work. Leading.” He summarised, steady despite how tilted he felt. Christ it felt like he was looking at Graham. But he wasn’t, she was different. Less restrained yet… less restraint needed.
“Oh that sounds so cool,” Kani said.
Myla scoffed at her, “Yea, like you would like the paperwork.”
Kani shrugged before looking down at her datapad, “I would make others do the paperwork.” Myla and Lestrom rolled their eyes.
“You can’t even sleep by yourself!” The kids started to bicker as Teddy came back in and cleared his throat and they stopped before they went back to their datapad, only Lestrom grumbled slightly in protest.
“As I was saying..” Skylar gave the two of them a smile, “Would you two be staying for dinner?”
Cole glanced sideways to Evelyn. Again he couldn’t really tell her opinion at a glance. Maybe it wasn’t helped by his own distraction. He wanted to. Should he?
“I… don’t see why not.” He answered slowly, “What time do you usually have it?”
Evelyn nodded in agreement, “That sounds lovely, thank you.”
Skylar nodded, “The food is already in the oven.”
Lestrom noticed something as he nudged Kani’s arm for her attention and he tilted his head towards Cole’s leg.
Kani squinted at it and they recongize it right away. With their parents job, prothesis wasn’t an odd thing for the kids.
however-
“Is the story how you lost your leg cool, Mister Cole?”
All adults in the room tensed up. Evelyn the most as she snapped to look at him. Slight anger in her eyes.
“Kani!”
“Its ok.” Cole waved a hand. It was another difficult topic but not because of his leg being gone.
More because kark, it was literally magic.
“Its a secret, mostly, but…” Cole pulled his pant leg up, ignoring Evelyn’s anger and tension, and showing the rest of the prosthetic. It was hand made, specifically crafted by Hector with remarkable skill. His knee was gone, leaving only the stump of his thigh. “I had a choice between giving it up, or saving someone’s life. Its… well. Not new quite, anymore. Few months.”
After letting the kids oogle, he let his pant leg drop again. He was trying to add inflection to his speech. To speak normally. It felt weird. Especially with Evelyn, someone he still somewhat perceived as a threat, glaring tiny little daggers into him. Or- not anymore actually but she has been.
Evelyn glanced over the prosthetic. She had to admit, it looked good.
Who was keeping secrets away now?‘ Evelyn bitterly thought but they can discuss this. Later. Though her expression softened at hearing that he had a choice and it was to save someone’s life.
The kids oogled for a bit, while they had seen many, they certainly haven’t seen that kind of metal just yet.
Though confusion was evident on the children’s face.
“Was… Huh? Did you like, cut it off and throw it at some villain’s head?” Kani inquired as Myla facepalmed by her, an overexaggerated one by tilted her head back too and she was looking at the ceiling. Skylar and Teddy let out a small chortle.
“Don’t be silly, Kani! They may have been with them uh, what are they called again?” Myla glanced over to Teddy.
“.. Force U-”
“Force users! See, I perfectly remembered.” Myla placed her hands on her hips as Kani stuck her tongue out at her.
Cole smiled slightly.
“They were. However, its more complicated than that. Well, than throwing a leg at someone at least. Also… probably something I shouldn’t disclose.”
The issue was less confidentiality and more content. It was, no way, appropriate for kids.
Right.
He looked at Myla, then at the twins. They were the same age when he…
Oh. Oh…
“But-” Lestrom started before he was interrupted by Skylar.
“That’s enough kiddos-” The three of them groaned in protest as she sighed and then the beeping from the kitchen.
“Dinner’s ready, I’ll get the food, the four of you escort them to the dining room…”
– After Dinner – The kids had a lot of information about being a pilot from Evelyn as well some for being an artifact researcher that she can share. They also bombed Cole with questions so some he was able to answer, others, not so much.
Evelyn seems to be more at ease and relaxed.
Then Kani went on to talk about her bugs much to her sibling’s dismay.
Teddy had taken the twins outside in the backyard to play.
“Myla, they are my friends but–” Skylar glanced over to the pair to make sure they were ready. Then back to Myla.
“They are also your blood relatives…”
Myla stared at Skylar for a moment before looking back to Evelyn and Cole.
“Oh.” She said timidly, the spunk she had earlier was dimmed as she was trying to figure things out. She had so many questions and now that the time had arrived, it was as if the questions had disappear.
There was silence in the air.
“… mom and dad?” Myla finally spoke as Evelyn shook her head.
“Well, I am your mother. Your biological mother–” She corrected herself. Skylar was a far more mother than Evelyn could ever be. And she knew it.
“Cole is your uncle. From your biological father side.”
“Oh.” Another pause, “Where is he?”
Cole felt his mouth go dry. He hadn’t fully relaxed the whole afternoon, waiting for these questions and… was this the hardest one? It was the simplest.
Cole shifted, looking into her his eyes and exhaling softly. Slowly.
“He died about 6 years ago.”
“Oh.” The tension in the air was heavy. Evelyn felt like a statue. Unmoving.
“Do.. you have pictures of him?” She asked as she glanced to Evelyn. Evelyn realized she didn’t bring the picture of three of them. Myla asked because she realized that she doesn’t really look like Evelyn save for the facial structure and dimples when they smile. Evelyn shook her head but waited for Cole because he did.
“I do.” Cole answered, opening up the bag.
The first one he handed to Evelyn. It was the first, of her in the hospital bed and Graham holding baby Myla. It was preserved as it could be now, the remnant fire and smoke damage as repaired as possible and then immortalized.
“Thats yours to keep.” He spoke as he passed it on.
The others were cleaner, a copied remnant of the damage from the fire.
Cole and Graham as young men, standing proud if a bit beaten up. A baby photo of Graham with Trevor and Maree. Graham doing a superman pose on a building, the pair fighting as teens. Zuza and Graham with cole pinching his nose in the background. The duo with a group of people, the lights making colours hard to determine within a club, but having fun. Mostly. Cole looked as awkward as he did now.
He set them out on the table, letting Myla look at each of them. He explained that Trevor and Maree were her grandparents but they had both passed too. He said Zuza’s name, though little else about her. Other names were mentioned and passed over.
Games. Kark, uh-
“Well what games do you have?” Cole asked. He was focussing hard on focussing. She wasn’t really that much like Graham but when she grinned, the stubbornness, her eyes. The resemblance was there, he was glad she wasn’t a carbon copy of him really. The pit that had made home in his chest for the last 6 years was almost painful in this moment.
“You… can keep that photo if you like. Of the superman one.” He added on as an afterthought, glancing sideways at Evelyn before remembering another thought. Unlike him. “He… does have a grave too, if you ever want to visit. It’s just… some old stone maybe but-”
Cole let the thought end itself. This was embarrassing. In front of Myla, who he wanted to be strong for, and in front of Evelyn who was a enemy relative unknown yet.
“Card games! We play card games every Primeday of the week,” Myla then rolled her eyes.
“All because mom and dad said we can’t always bury our nose in our awesome games.” Myla grumbled as Skylar playfully rolled her eyes. That was also where Myla learned it from too.
When Cole mentioned she could keep the superhero pose, “Oh thank you… and I guess I have one of you?” Her eyes darted towards Evelyn and slightly held out the hospital photo, the photo of three of them. Evelyn nodded and explained:
“I have the same one that is… a bit more clear. I will be sure to bring it when Cole and I have time to be off to visit you.”
“And… I take this one-” She grabbed the one with younger Cole and Graham, beaten up but looking proud. Perhaps because it was the one that show Cole’s face. She wasn’t yet comfortable with taking her grandparents photos just yet, with them having be deceased and not much known. Perhaps in the future.
The grave was brought up. Myla was no stranger to graves, having to be exposed when her parent’s friends die due to their jobs but she wasn’t sure about visiting a grave. She never visited any of her parent’s friends grave.
“Um,” Myla said uncertaintly and Evelyn picked up on both Cole and Myla’s hesitation for the moment.
“It can wait, Kyl'ina,” her voice was soft and soothing. Cole would’ve noticed she was more gentle the longer the visit went. More open even. “I think that.. is enough for all of us today,” her eyes went to Skylar who nodded in agreement and then to Cole, wondering what he thought.
“Yes, it’s an open offer. I just wanted to say it.” Cole had responded at the uncertainty. It was nice seeing Evelyn in her element. Even if it wasn’t her normal one.
He was content to let her keep those photos. They were copies for that reason.
The others he had no plans on sharing here, not unless she one day pressed for more. When she old enough questions on his past weren’t dangerous.
“We can head out, yeah.” He was tired.
He wouldn’t let it show but it was heavy.
The four of them walked to the door as they said their good-byes. Skylar hugged Evelyn tightly and stepped forward to hug Cole but watched his body language. When it was obvious hugs was no go by him taking a step back, between the pair, Skylar gave him an understanding look and simply nodded, “Just message me whenever you two can come, okay?”
“We will. Good bye Skylar and Myla.”
Myla hesitated for a moment, pondering something in her mind but gave them both a farewell wave in which Cole returned but Evelyn was more awkward as if she never waved goodbye.
And she never did until now.
The one time Evelyn wished she wasn’t on a ship. She wanted to be at home, in her bathtub, in the dark, with a bottle of wine. Or two. Maybe three.
Maybe she should not come back. Cole can keep visiting.
But it was Myla. Myla was the first one that Evelyn-
Evelyn acted out of irrational anger and slammed her hand onto the console.
The door slid open and Evelyn completely tensed and her body language was one hundred percent shut out. Her hand slowly pulled away from the console and back onto her lap while she focused on the screen. It felt cold in the room despite the temperature had not been touched.
Cole had heard the thump. He could see what happened. The tension. It wasn’t his place. But would she tell Anders? Did he trust Anders with her even. Cole allowed himself a small frown.
What to say?
Maybe he ought to just leave her to it but… do better. The words in his own, twisted, voice kept echoing back to him. He could still feel the cold-
“Evelyn?”
Evelyn inhaled so big that her shoulders moved and slowly exhaled through her nose. Her eyes were closed. She was working on centering herself.
“Yes, Farrow?”
“You did well with her.”
That was a dumb comment. He winced. Of course she was, even with her karked up childhood she at least knew how to function as a person.
He raised his hand, as if to brush his hair back but lowered it back down. Clasped his hands behind his back. “I was just checking… on you.”
Evelyn opened her eyes and she looked at him in slight surprised before softened her expression. Well, trying to. It was difficult. She doesn’t open to anyone.
Well-
She looked forward and closed her eyes in frustration again.
“I.. thank you.” She wasn’t going to tell him that she’s not okay. It was obvious to the pair of them and yet, their walls were thick and they were not letting themselves in because both of them were too stubborn to make the first stupid st-
Cole made the first step, stop being such an idiot. Evelyn reminded herself. She should… try to meet halfway.
She cleared her throat before looking to him, “You did too. With… the planning of games and.. the wave.”
“I didn’t… really plan that.” Cole met her eyes for a moment before glancing out the window into space.
It was hard to plan games when you didn’t really know any. Kark he was actually worried about her. Dammit. How to word it.
“This is going to seem random but- Has Anders hurt you?”
“I- what!? No!” Eveyln was purely shocked at the randomness of it all that it made her stood up. And the more scary part? Why did he ask that?
This may be the most expressive Cole would had seen from her now.
Yes, Anders was an ass. A prick even. Everything she heard about him from others. but as far as she was aware, to others, he was a hardass and unless invoked a fight, she hasn’t heard anything of physical altercations.
Did something happen that she does not know of?
Anders had never treated her like that. He hasn’t even been an ass to her at all. Sarcastic and witty sure, but Evelyn usually quipped back. Her husband was not cruel to Draca as well. For Melissa, sure he gets annoyed about her being barefooted but he meant well- They- His crew- she couldn’t think- the- what-
Her heart rate went up, she felt defensive.
“Cole?” Evelyn asked, her bright green eyes burned into his cold blue ones, the ones she was once scared of long ago. Her expression was an obvious concern and her hands were shaking from the adrenaline rush.
“What did he do?”
Why… was she angry? If he didn’t hurt her then. Cole frowned slightly but in confusion. He wanted to step back, to avoid the unexpected but couldn’t make himself.
Really though, he could handle what was done. Anders had even respected him for it but he’d needed to know Evelyn was safe. That Myla would be if she met him. And if the violence was business only, than they would be.
“Why?” He asked, his own defensiveness rising somewhat.
Evelyn watched him, uncertain. Unsure. Why would he be questioning her wanting to know what Anders did that brought it up?
Evelyn sat back down but by now, her pilot chair was swiveled to face him so she was still meeting with his eyes.
Stay calm, She told herself.
“I… Cole, you cannot ask that unless there was a reason behind it… What did he do?”
“I can. You seemed unsure and-” He answered, the words slipping free before he processing. But then that was a stupid answer. He sighed, deflating somewhat yet the tension remained in his shoulders.
“When the Foggy Butcher struck, he was displeased with how many murders occured before we got any real information. He blamed me-” Cole’s gaze darkened. Almost imperceptibly. It was still karking unfair. “And utilised the Force to make a point. If it’s all business that’s one thing, but I wanted to check that it doesn’t extend beyond that. I can keep him on his toes, I’m expecting it. In a… civillian environment…” He trailed off. She was listening a bit too intently.
He continued eye contact for a few more seconds before looking slowly off to the side.
The pilot’s jaw was so tight, it may just snap.
Anders harmed Cole.
Anders does hurt people, instead of just being a hardass. At his workplace, no less. Don’t the both of them have enough enemies combined that are nipping at the heels without Evelyn having to worry just how long that list was? Was she going have to add co-workers and people that worked at OSI that wasn’t even part of his division anymore?
‘He is a Sith….’
That was not an excuse. Dol worked at Envoy and he hasn’t physically harmed his staff outside of training-
That she knew of- Wait, was she defending Dol!?
Manipulation.
Then a grinding noise from her teeth as she didn’t realize it.
Finally, “I am sorry. I.. No. That is not okay.” Her eyes burned and she could feel her throat tightened.
“Training, maybe but- No.” Evelyn shook her head, her eyes went to the floor and everything was blurry.
The anger. The doubt.
It hurts.
Maybe that mirror was right. If she wasn’t going to do anything, she was a monster.
Just like him~ She heard the singsong voice from the mirror.
What did he do? What did he do?
It’s not ok? Well- Maybe not for normal people but- Cole winced, but focussed on her. He could shove his own shit aside it was fine it was fine. But what could he do? Speaking seemed to just cause more problems, and why would she want him anywhere near her?
“Uh-” Cole shifted his weight on his feet. Foot. Thigh kinda hurt. “What he does is nothing to do with you.”
It was hard to speak clearly. Why? He felt like he was mentally stumbling trying to keep up, that pit deepening further and further. He just wanted karking confirmation, not some pity party. He was Fine.
“I can handle myself, Wyvern.”
Evelyn was quiet.
She could not believe the words that just came out of his mouth. He was closing up. She had to make him see-
Maybe, unlike her, he knows what love is. Evelyn knew right and wrong, but she doubt if she knew love-
No. Not now.
“Cole,” refusing to use his last name to try reel him in, “Do you love Ms. A- Sofila? You sacrificed for her, imagine this happened to her at work just because someone was disappointed.”
Oh he’d kill them. There wasn’t even a question to it. It wasn’t difficult to get Evelyn’s point from there but it was hard to process.
“This wasn’t what I was trying to talk about. I just wanted to know if you brought him near, he wouldn’t hurt Myla. That he wasn’t hurting you. He’s not, that was it.”
“I-“ Nothing else followed. No words. Just a blank look. Myla.
Why would they even meet- what-
Then it occurred to her, Myla might be curious eventually and want to meet a bit more of the ‘family’.
Anders wouldn’t dare to harm her, it was one of their agreements to not ever use her- but he’s a sith.
No.
If anything, you are more of a monster than Anders~
He raised Draca at a young age and would kill for him. He had shown what Evelyn understood as love to her. Kisses on forehead. Brushing her hair away. Helping her when she was exhausted despite her being an absolute stubborn schutta about it. Brought her water and cared for her.
Scowled at young Melissa about her shoes. Took in his crew.
Her crew? They do a good job and worth the credits. She swallowed hard. Her throat felt dry.
Sounding defeated at the realization, she turned cold.
“Anders rose Draca as a fine young man and he has a thing against harming or using children. He…also, from what I understood about love, loves me and would not harm Myla. Nor me.”
She was still going to talk to Anders about it, especially to try to keep from that list of enemies that would use Myla, growing.
“I trust your judgement on that.” Cole answered sharply. Too sharply, really.
When did he start trusting her? Not with his emotions but with his ni- her daughter. Cole felt his nails dig into his palms. It didn’t quite feel like he was the one doing it.
Well that was it either way. It was resolved. Everything was fine.
“Okay then.” He forced out, straining both words and then turned on heel. The wrong heel. In fact, the heel that was no longer biologically his and had no nervous system. It slipped inward, Cole’s hand slamming out to catch himself on the doorway. It wasn’t a big slip but the sensation of falling caught him off guard. He didn’t turn to face Evelyn, regaining sense to start walking away as if it didn’t happen while feeling his cheeks and ears begin to burn red with embarrassment.
It certainly hadn’t helped the pressure situation. It was tolerable but grinding when already drained.
Evelyn’s eyes narrowed, “Speaking of, I thought we were done keeping secrets from each other.” She pointed out.
“Kark off.” Cole hissed between his teeth, still walking away toward a seat.
“It doesn’t effect you.”
“Then how me being arrested once years ago affects you,” snapped Evelyn
“Because you being falsely accused by people trying to screw you over could effect Myla. Me being-” Cole cut off, stopping midstep. He exhaled before turning around.
“This wasnt because of an enemy directly. He is dead permanently now and cannot cause further harm. YOUR family are all still alive to do that.”
He froze again, nails digging into his palms. It stung slightly. It didn’t matter.
“Farrow, if you had not noticed, you are still alive and I am certain you have enemies too that could find out about her-just like mine. Stop projecting your paranoia on only me.” How dare he tried to do that, no one knows about Myla for Evelyn save for Anders and for Cole? Sofila.
They both had the same risks.
Cole stared for a moment, before shaking his head in frustration.
“Your family, the ones who know you well enough to track you down, are still alive. My father and brother aren’t coming back as ghosts or some kist to kark us over.”
Oh.
He doesn’t know.
Evelyn became quiet.
“Neither are mine. Skylar and Myla are the only one left that is blood.”
She then scoffed. They both obviously had a lot to work out with and with their obvious problems, their childhood was anything but normal. It was apparent they were just going to keep bashing heads, figuratively, till one day, one of them may actually bash the other’s head.
This had to stop.
“We obviously need to figure something out. We are stuck together for another forty-five hours and what do you say, let us pop open a nasty cold one and get to play the stupid ‘Let’s get to know you’ question feel-y game that I hate so much?” Whether he accepted or not was up to him but she had started to make her way towards the small dining area that was set up for her crew to cook and eat.
As she brushed past him he tensed but refused to back away. Not that he was blocking the path.
Icebreaker games? Ew. He grimaced. But booze sounded good now anyway and kist, it wasn’t the worst idea ever but it felt like it.
“Do either of us actually know any of those games or should I find one? Take a shot everytime we want to shoot ourselves?” Cole grunted, following her through and finding a spot to sit at as he pulled out a holo.
Evelyn placed her forehead on the fridge as she exhaled.
Despite everything she went through and all the training, how was it that it was Cole that she was concerned about?
And he was also driving her so insane that she just want to hyperjump into a goddamn empty planet.
“Put that away.” Evelyn pointed out as she grabbed two cans from the fridge and handed one to Cole.
“Not those kid games. We have to come up with ours. I ask a question first or you, and we both answer the same question. The question has to be something that … may be the reason why we are not getting along because I swear by the suns, Cole, you are making me want to crash this ship into a starsdamn sun.”
He pocketed it, grumbling internally. Question games, great.
Cole opened the can, considering it. “We both have to answer it?” It was a rhetorical. It was obvious that yes, she did mean it but… He hated kist like this. These truth games, he’d only played once since he was dumb enough to not walk away when they started. Zuza probably initiated the last one.
He looked at the can, and took a purposeful drink, “We do need to work something out so we can… go anywhere and not end up at our each others throat.”
“Exactly so I will start, what is your problem with me?”
He met her gaze, blue to green for a moment before he responded, “Right now? You took a question way out of relevance and then got pissy at me for it. It’s never straight forward.”
Okay yea, Evelyn took a sip of the drink and had to keep herself from making a disgusted face.
“Which question? That if Anders hurt me?”
“Yes.”
“I am not mad at you. I am angry that … the rumors I had heard about my husband are becoming more true and my morales are taking a hard hit.” She felt bad. She thought the anger was to him but it was … how he responded.
Ugh. She took a longer swing of the beer and a bit more of a chug. This was painful and she hated every second so far but this had to be resolved.
“You and I both know you would kill whoever did that to Ms. Ar- Sofila. It seems we are not allowed to do a damn thing because YOU think it is normal. Guess what, it is not okay to be a punching bag every time someone gets upset.”
“That’s not-” He cut off, hating himself for doing it but Cole couldn’t exactly deny that’s what had happened. But… that’s how this kist worked? Either way, it… was misplaced anger. Not for him to argue against, espeically when the further reasoning wasn’t wrong. Sofila would hate him- hate Anders but be cross with him for hiding something like that. He sighed slightly, before gesturing to her,
“Your problem with me, then?”
Evelyn stared at him.
“…. what you just now did.”
Cole blinked.
Evelyn continued stared at him.
But she realized he sort of reminded her of Draca…. the way Draca handle things. The way he talks.
Oh.
Oh no.
Evelyn mentally winced. She.. was struggling with it and still was. And Cole obviously had a lot more than just possibly maybe having the same thing that Draca has plus on additional whatever the man went through.
It took him a moment but, rolling back he noted he did something Sofila had often gotten on his back about. Avoiding questions.
“Ah.” He answered, tapping the can against the counter before taking a drink from it. It burned but it was a distaction. “Yeah Sof hates that too.”
“You did it again.”
“What?” Cole glared, “Do I go back to the Anders question or?”
“Amazing.” Evelyn whispered as she completely downed the beer in several chugs before getting up and throwing hers away. Then grabbed another beer.
“Avoiding.”
“It’s safer to keep cards close to your chest.” Cole looked into his can at about the half way point. He drank more before continuing. “Talking about kark like that, displays weaknesses. That’s…”
Well. Was it rreally something he couldn’t afford anymore? Who was listening.
Who wasn’t
“And then we may never get along. Or resolve this.” Evelyn pointed out.
Cole was quiet for a few moments, before tapping a finger on the can. He sipped it.
“I’ll try.”
Another pause and then a sigh, “And now my question. Which….” He glanced away, thinking before the image burned into his eyes for the day surfaced again. They wanted to know baout each other right?
“When did you first kill someone, and see them actually die?”
Evelyn blinked. Once. Twice.
Not because of the question.
But because of the timing.
Then she started to laugh.
It wasn’t warm or sweet, like Sofila’s. It was bitter. Harsh.
Angry almost.
“If you asked me that last week, you would had a different answer.” She paused for a moment, wondering how much she should say. Maybe with how much she says may help Cole how to elaborate.
“I.. was mainly trained by a Sith who locked away my memories. So with that… I was ten.”
“A Sith?” Cole frowned slightly. If she wanted to, he was interested in knowing more but he wouldn’t want to pressed. Ten was young too, wasn’t it. Huh.
“That’s… only last week?” The frown deepened.
“Save that question for later. You are avoiding your own.”
“I- That’s not what I was trying to do” Cole huffed, finishing off his drink and going to collect another as he began talking.
“I was eight. We beat a rival group, my father had me be his executioner. It was a statement for them and training for me.” Cole avoided her gaze as he spoke, uncomfortable speaking of it. Even as he tried to hide it. But… “Same age as the twins.”
What she did not expect was somewhat similiatries beween her and Cole.
No. Can’t be.
He’s with a sunshine of a gal. He misses Graham. Not that she can blame him, he was funny and she enjoyed that night.
“So, before both of our brains was even developed. Or our emotions for that matter.” She took a swig from the beer and let out a low hiss.
Usually she doesn’t allow her kind of drinks on the ship but now… she may start doing that.
Oh. It was her turn.
“I… did not know you know Ms. Lottson. You actually do not have to go deep with this one, but how did you know Ms. Lottson?”
He nodded slightly to her response. It was logically true. Uncomfortable. He shifted in place somewhat, the room feeling smaller as Cole sat down and cracked open the second can.
“I don’t mind talking about that one actually.” He offered a half shrug, “We met as kids. She, literally, ran into me. We met again a few years later, then a few months. It wasn’t constant but she always ended up coming across me when her and her dad were in the area. We… dated for a while. She was doing the tests to join the family when- Well. You know that bit. We go quite a ways back.”
“You have a type.” Zuza and Sofila?
Yea. He had a type.
“As for me, I… approached her when I found out she was the one that killed Mr. F- Graham.” She corrected herself. She wasn’t sure how Cole would felt calling his brother by his last name and it didn’t help that their father had the same last name.
“We had a bit of a discussion. Then we met again and I let her fly my ship for a bit while she was consul for Arcona. I have not seen her since.”
Cole choked on his drink. He almost missed her explanations. But he didn’t, clearing his throat with his wrist over his mouth. WHY WAS THAT the first thing she said.
“Yeah she’s like that.” He spoke, slightly wheezy and taking another sip to try and help calm his throat.
“Why did you care so much about what happened to Graham? I never understood that. It’s not because of Myla or…” Or she woudln’t be so careful about his name. She wouldn’t get quiet when he was mentioned. Or unsure.
Oh. He does have expressions, that was good. It almost made Evelyn smile.
Almost. Nothing though.
“It is because of Myla. I was angry that Myla was never going to meet her biological father.” Evelyn started and shook her head.
“If I had to choose… he seemed the more.. stable and sane one. Out of him and me, I mean. So if Myla wanted to meet one of us and if there was a choice, I would had picked him.”
Cole laughed. It was a short thing yet, oddly genuine.
“Stable and sane. Stars, I don’t think I ever expected those words being used to describe Graham.” He drank more, shaking his head. “Though…” The amusement drained as quickly as it appeared. It almost became sadness but it was as if he caught it before the emotion could manifest. His eyes blankened, bringing himself back into whatever boundaries Cole used to restrain himself with. “He enjoyed killing. In the same way Zuza does but with reason and skillset for it. I can’t say I haven’t thought the same, he’d have handled everything better than I did. But for Myla? You can stop yourself being a bad influence, I don’t know if he would have. Maybe, eventually. Before it was too late…”
He trailed off. Graham was brutish at times, caring when he wanted to be but- The photo of him holding a baby still seemed surreal frankly.
“I genuinely believe that he loved you. It even.. somehow shown in the pictures. That is more sane than what I am capable of. Obviously, we were all raised to be killers. It is the norm for us even though we… are aware that it is not normal but… it is our normal. Our sane.” Evelyn took a sip from the beer.
Did… she believe herself not capable of love? Cole noted that aside, uncomfortable. Not normal, normal. He’d placed himself into the monster category so long ago being anything else felt like a lie.
“I know he did. I did for him. You do for Myla, even if you don’t see it. You love Anders, in a way too.” Cole spoke quietly, staring into the can. “It’s hard to see it. I didn’t until years after I lost him and Zu. Yet it made it harder to see it again.”
Admitting anything for Sofila had been hell. As if placing a target on her back, on his own back.
“Your question, though.”
Evelyn did not respond.
She wasn’t even sure if she loved Anders or just doing her duty as a wife.
But luckily, Cole did not push on it.
Though he did pose a good question, how would she feel if she lost Anders?
If she had to think that, what did that say about her?
And it was why she was confused around Myla, Myla was hte first one that she thought she felt love but she wasn’t sure if it was just hormones of giving birth and being a mother or-
‘your question, though.’
“Out of all places, why did you pick Kasiya?”
“Sofila through a knife at a holoprojection. Landed in the Caelus system, Kasiya is the best spot really and we wanted to remain within the Brotherhood so it worked out.”
It skipped over why they moved at all.
“Do you like Anders’ family? Crew and folks. Living with them.”
Evelyn stared. They… seriously just randomly threw a knife? Not talk about it? Do research?
Sofila was a very odd woman.
And Cole agreed with it.
Odder yet.
“Draca is a good kid, along with his girlfriend, Melissa. As for his crew… Zoom and I do not get along. She does not respect her workplace or herself. And for the rest of them, I do not mind them, they do the job well.”
Though she much prefer when it just Anders and her.
At least it would be more quiet and less chaotic.
“Well. That’s nice.” He finished off can 2, considering going for a third.
“That was a fast one.”
When forcing themselves to actually talk they could do so without pissing eachother off. Who’d have thought. Cole felt rather bitter about that for some reason, opting to go get that beer.
Now time for a heavy one.
“How much should we tell Myla about our …lives? Past lives.”
He sipped the drink to give himself time to think.
“I don’t know. I don’t want her to idolise it. I don’t want to lie. I don’t want her to hate me for being a monster.”
The same fears she had. Save for the idolizing. She honestly doesn’t see that from Myla.
“Okay. I think I rather her get mad at us if we have to use the line, ‘we may tell you when you are older’ than…” she trailed off, hoping Cole understood.
Than knowing what we went through.
And still do.
Cole nodded.
“For as long as we can, at least. The moment she gets my last name though, it’ll be only her own determination that delays her. There’s plenty of accusations, police reports… They all got waived after I supposedly died but they’re still there. Graham’s. My fathers.”
“Did Graham say why he didn’t want to bring her back to us? I.. think I know but…” but did he tell you.
Evelyn remembered. She was wearing baggy clothes that day to hide it. And the fear she carried.
And still carry.
“That…he did not want to put the child in danger and… he felt he would not be a good dad.”
The first one was the one that Cole expected. The second one…. The idea of Graham being insecure about something was insane to him. It drew a frown, bringing emotion faintly back into the equation of Cole.
Why didn’t he know that? Why did some random woman they met once before the dumbass got her pregnant know something about his brother that he didn’t. It wasn’t-
Tears pricked at his eyes. No no no no- He couldn’t swipe at them or she’d see the movement but he couldn’t just karking cry in front of Evelyn what the kark. No. No. The paranoia surged like broken dam, hissing danger. Yet, moving was particularly an option either. Leaving would be obvious. She’d know. She would know.
He grabbed the can, drinking more and hoping the damn tears would come off as a burn of booze. Too much. It… did actually burn a bit and he winced. Cole kept his eyes low, head tilted slightly.
“Sorry. I just… didn’t expect that.” Was the obviously suppressed shaky response. His voice was not even enough. “The danger thing I expected, but- Yeah.”
Evelyn did not look at him. When she noticed it, she got up right away and threw away her beer. At least the second one was slower than the first.
Much to the pilot’s surprise, this was working. But it was also a bit awkward. She doesn’t know what to do when someone cries. How many times had her past flight mates had cried and she just… stood there with her hand extended as far as it could and patted them until another more social person was able to help them where she could not.
“It is forgotten,” Evelyn said without even looking at him as she popped the can open with a soft hiss. She understood where Graham was coming from. Both the danger and … not being a parent material.
“I mentioned earlier about secrets. Last week…” How was she suppose to explain this? She was still in training and she wasn’t even sure what to call it. There was similiatries with the Force and Magick but there were differences too. And she wasn’t sure how Cole would felt about the Force and the users.
“When the memories were returned to me, I realized that I can use the Force.”
She definitely noticed. But she walked away. That totally wouldn’t be a problem later. Evelyn started talking and he forced his focus over onto that.
While she wasnt looking he wiped the traitors from his eyes with his palm.
The Force. They’d hidden away that they had the Force from herself all this time?
“Well kist.” Was his initial, provided verbal response. He drank a little more, still unsteady but forcing every word like a step through quicksand. “Anders is helping you train with that I assume?”
She didnt really seem to trust anyone else.
“Language.”
Evelyn nodded but there was hesitation for a moment.
“He is, with the Force, but there is something else. It is called Magick and it is a new territory for us in a way so that one is being more complicated to train. However, I am using my new job to help me understand it more.”
Especially since she and Anders still haven’t found anyone that she can train with. Unless, Anders does know someone but just like her, their list of people they trust was almost non-existence.
Being admonished for cussing made Cole blink, looking at her with mild confusion.
what
But he wasnt going to make a point of it… listening to it or ignoring it.
The rest was more important.
“Like the Nightsister magicks?” Cole inquiried, sipping the beer. “Ive seen it used. Hopefully you can find a teacher.”
A beat passed, and Cole gestured to her, “Your turn i think.”
Oh. So he knows of them. She thought they were rare or barely heard of because she had never heard of them- well.
The anger that her memories was locked away like that was starting to grow as she took a sip of the beer. This can was going to be her last one so she was taking her time.
“It is but I am afraid I cannot think of anything else. So, you are free to ask questions and if I think of something, I will ask myself.”
That was surprising. Though he didnt have many for her either. She provided one secret..
“Well, I guess I still owe you one. My leg.”
He considered, knocking back the end of the third can. Cole was not as restrained on this.
“How much did you hear about the Immortal Sith missions?”
“Only what I know from the Envoy records.”
It then hit her. What he said to the kids, that he gave up his leg and there was a mention of a ritual on the records but not in details of course. She didnt have access to that.
“Oh,” whispered Evelyn. This… posed a curious question. Something she wanted to know for her own morbid curiosity.
“Did you know what was going to happen?”
“Mostly.”
Cole forced himself to be still, allowing a glance around the room. He’d been trying to break that habit, with Sofila’s help, but some things never changed. This was technically confidential.
“It mentions a ritual in the first debrief record. It was done to Sofila, we didn’t know the true result until we faced Scimitar himself. He’d left a piece of his soul inside her.” Despite the forced neutral tone, there was a tension in his jaw. A narrowing of his eyes, that weren’t meeting hers, “We killed him, and he tried to use her body as his own. Ricmore, one of the other operatives, knows Sith Alchemy. I volunteered to take part, as it requried sacrifice of some form and the other option was to-” He paused, reset.
“There wasn’t another option. I didn’t know what was going to be taken but I knew what I was getting into. I’m glad it wasn’t my eye, Ricmore… lost one of his.” Cole shook his head slightly. Both in selfish relief and sympathy for someone he… loosely considered a friend. Loosely. “The sacrifice was able to purge the soul fragment. I’m not entirely sure how it all works, but it did.”
Evelyn took another sip when Cole finished. Would she had given up a part of herself? What should she say?
“I see.” Evelyn also doesn’t understand how rituals work. Maybe ti was something she will learn over time.
Then it clicked.
“Does Mr. Ricmore know of Magick then?”
“He knows alchemy. I’m not sure how much overlap there is. He may be worth contacting, to check.” Cole nodded, picking up on her intentions with it.
“Very well, thank you.” Evelyn hoped that he could be someone to help her but she also doesn’t.
Because it meant that Anders did know someone and kept it from her.
Unless he had a reason to.
Cole nodded, glancing at the can before taking it to throw away and grabbing another. There wasn’t too many left so he opted to make this the last one. For now.
“How much do you trust Skylar?”
“She might be the only one I can say I completely trust without hesitation. Teddy as well.” Evelyn replied honestly. And it was true. Anders was right below Skylar and Tednor.
Doesnt help that the two of them had a lot of kinks they still needed to work out.
“Then hopefully we can trust them that they wouldn’t let us do anything to Myla and the kids that would hurt them.”
He sighed, sipping the beer.
That was not the respond she was expecting.
Honestly.
She was so used to figuring people out and there was Anders. And Cole.
Funny how much those two distrust each other but work well.
Yes, she was going to have talk with her husband but at least she can find her way around to make sure Cole wouldn’t be targeted.
“Skylar would not hesitate to put her kids first. Even if it means stopping us by any means necessary.” Then she paused for a moment, “Tednor as well.”
Cole nodded, satisfied with that answer. Being a part of Myla’s life… he wanted to. But not at the cost of her childhood.
“It’s getting late.” The clock said as much, though Evelyn was faced away from it. It had been a long karking day. “If we think of anything else have a whole extra day to continue.”
That was true.
Maybe it can do without the drinks next time.
“I will double check the auto pilot.
"Good night, Cole.” With that, she got up, threw away the empty can and went back to the cockpit.
“Night.”
Cole let her go, finishing the drink slowly before heading to the room Evelyn had told him was his to use.
He sat on the end of the bed, with minimal intent to sleep. There was no karking way he was having a nightmare here. It was almost guaranteed to happen so- No. Nada.
He pulled his pad out, looking over the recent news, brotherhood and galaxy wide.